The Football Player's Roommate

31.

Acrophobia:
[ak-ruh-foh-bee-uh]
noun
1. a pathological fear of heights.

If you're anything like me, then you are deathly afraid of heights, or more specifically you have acrophobia.

It's not like climbing a couple of stairs give you the hee-bee-jeebies. It's like standing on top of a skyscraper and looking down at the streets as the cars whizz on by. Your stomach drops just at thought of how far up you are.

It's the feeling you get when you're riding the escalator for the very first time and you watch petrified as the floor just keeps getting further and further away. You feel certain that if you make one wrong move, your guts will be the store's new floor color.

And no matter what you do, unless you have mind powers, you can't stop it. But you endure it and push past your fears so you can get the next floor.

And you have to get to that next floor. The next floor will provide you with stability and a chance to get what you need. In order to get what you need you have to sacrifice portions of your sanity, and sometimes it's worth it.

So, right now, while Theo is staring into my eyes and silently questioning himself if I was able to commit murder on my own father a new fear has arose. A fresh horror right off the press, and it'd be thought of losing Theo.

Theo is my next floor. He's the one thing I want, and I have to get past my escalator to have him. My escalator, in this moment, being telling him the truth of my past.

"What do you mean you put your dad here, Mya?" His question rings me out of my conscious and brings me to look at him.

I moved my eyes from his confused face to the entrance of the hospital again. There was a few doctors walking to and fro hoping the caffeine-filled coffee cups in their hands will persuade their bodies to stay awake for another shift. It looked like a slow and gloomy day here.

It reminded me of the day my dad was admitted here, the only difference being he was brought in at night. That day made goosebumps travel up and down my arms every time I even gave it the slightest though. Hence the reason I try my best to block it out.

It started out as a good day, but went south all within the course of a few hours. One question, one fight, and a whole lot of bad luck.

I turned back to Theo and his expression had grown worried. He was worried about me? For all he knew I was a serial killer who brutally attempted murder on her father. Yet, he was still worried about me, despite the all the negative possibilities. He was still there for me and cared for me, and that was the reason I was then certain I was ready to tell him all about my past.

*Flashback to High School Senior Year*

It was almost Christmas break and everyone was getting ready for it. Most people were spending it with family, close friends, or even their significant other. Meanwhile I was in the library, with my piles of notebooks, flash cards, and text books, studying for mid-terms.

In school I had never been much of a socialite, but people seemed to always know me and were friendly to me in classes and hallways. I never gave myself much time for anything other than my studies, academic clubs, and volunteer work, so I'd never even been to an actual party.

Unless you count my cousin's latest 6th birthday party at Pizza Hut.

I'd never been to a high school party. You know what I'm talking about. All those parties you read about or see in movies and tv shows that are filled to the brim with alcohol, drugs, dancing, and even socializing with kids your own age.