Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice [boyxboy]

Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight (Ethan's POV)

Nick. I needed to talk to him. He'd know what was going on. He was sort of in this situation before, right?

Of course, my cell phone was gone now, so I had to walk all the way to Nick's house from Lucas' place. It wasn't that far, but it was far enough to have my face pink from the bitter cold wind. Then again, I was feeling like such a dickhead that the wind was nothing compared to the look on Lucas' face when I left.

We'd worked so hard to actually talk to each other and he finally let me touch him and I had to go and screw it all up. I felt awful. It wasn't just that either. It was the fact that I was about to have sex with him. I couldn't trust myself when it came to sex, especially with someone as fragile as Lucas.

Oh, and there was still the teeny tiny problem that he was a guy.

I was a guy.

That was a problem, whether anyone liked to admit it or not.

But Nick had gone through this. He'd know what to do. I just hoped he'd talk to me. We weren't speaking as much as we used to and last night was the first time I hadn't spent the night at his house- or in jail. I had to spend it at my own home, if you want to call it that.

And my rude awakening was my mother yelling at me about a phone call. At first I thought it was the Coach telling me that I was going to be arrested, but it turned out to be Mr. Patterson- Er, Danny. He wanted me to come over and at first, I was thrilled.

I got to see Lucas again.

But I only expected it to be a talk, not... that.

I shook the thought out of my head as I stepped onto Nick's doorstep, reaching behind the doorframe and taking out the spare key that they had hidden. I got into the house safely, placing the key on the key ring that hung near the door. No one was home, but they never cared that I had come inside.

I didn't raid their fridge, but I stole a piece of bread and headed upstairs to Nick's room to wait for him, flopping on his bed and sighing comfortably at the familiarity.

This place was my home more than any other place in the world.

I spent more of my time here than anywhere else. It was safer, cozier, and people actually liked me here. Not sure if they wanted me here, but I knew they liked me. Nick and I had been friends since we were kids. We were there for each other all the time. Through awful break ups, games, parties, deaths, and birthdays. I trusted Nick with my life and I'm pretty sure he trusted me with his too.

I knew I had done some pretty asshole-ish things in my life, but it was all done by impulse. Which is probably why I kept getting in trouble with the law. I just couldn't help it. I hated it when people ignored me, I hated it when they didn't look at me, or achknowledge me.

I'm right here.

What do I have to do to get someone's attention?

Scream? Break my leg? Break their leg?

And then I met Lucas. He always looked at me. He may not have said anything to me at first, but it took me a while to realize that just because he wasn't talking to me, didn't mean he wasn't listening to me. He was different than everyone else. When he looked at me, he didn't see the quarterback or the jail bait or Nick's tagalong. He saw me.

God, maybe I did love Lucas... I couldn't stop thinking and worrying about him. This had never happened to me before. The only time it ever came close, setting aside Nick of course, was this girl back in my freshman year, but I'd hurt her and regretted everything afterwards. I couldn't do that kind of thing to Lucas.