70 Deadly Wattpad Sins (The Book Of Evil Advice!)

Sin #25: Show And Don't Tell (Seriously, you're sooo boring)

  Little Jimmy stood up in front of the class, ready to deliver his 10-page essay on how much he liked his pet frog... It was so shallow and uninspired that 67 years later, everyone died of tuberculosis.

  Coincidence?

  Wait, if we're not allowed to tell people things... How are you going to write this sin?

  Through hypocrisy and reasonable doubt, of course! Most of you are probably familiar with show and tell, right? You take a random object from your life, show it to complete strangers and tell them why the hell they should care about your materialistic life choices.

  Middle school was a dark time, for everyone.

  No time for manly tears, we're going to have a little pop quiz. First (and only) question: how do you tell a story to an audience? You just... tell it, don't you?

  Wrong! Any yuppie with an 1980's typewriter can hammer out a plot synopsis before the stock prices rise or fall or whatever they do, but no one wants to read a bland outline of events. The heart of any story is in the way it is being told, similar to how the build-up of a joke is just as important as the punchline.

  I see this far too often on Wattpad, scenes so robotic that they might as well be Freddy Fazbear fanfics. The animatronic says hello. The animatronic does a weird dance. The animatronic breaks every bone in your body and crams your mangled corpse into a bunny suit. We get it.

  A buttload of writing styles are based around gestures and actions! How can that be boring?

  There's a huge difference between constructing a house and furnishing a home. Unless you're looking for themes of callousness and detachment, you're going to want to aim for the latter and get as much depth out of your MC's perspective as possible.

  'But Tyro-sama,' I hear you all crying out in understandable awe, 'however shall we humble peasants know which scenes are being shown, and which ones are being told?'

  I can assure you, not one of these readers are even slightly humbled by your presence.

  Tell me about it. Or rather, show me! Hey-ooo!

  That doesn't even make... Ugh, just show us the example already.

  It can be rather awkward to notice this sin, especially in your own writing. Anywhere that you find yourself stating the obvious or using simple buzzwords, chances are that there's a lot of wasted potential in those areas.

  Example: Bob was happy. Kate frowned. Bob No. 2 was all mad about stuff.

  You're telling the audience what these characters are feeling, stating what their reactions are. That's fine and dandy for a stage play, but in the world of written novels, we expect emotions and plot devices to be conveyed with more subtlety.

  Example: Bob felt butterflies in his stomach. Kate's lips anchored into a frown. Bob No. 2 clenched his fists in a fit of rage, knowing that he was one day closer to being outed as a deep-cover government clone sent to spy on Bob No. 1's husband and kids.

  You really couldn't think of a third name, could you? Had to be government clones, huh.

  Whenever I write a story, I go big or go home - as should you, wonderful reader! Don't settle for making pitiful comments on what your characters are dealing with. Try to express their feelings with much more finesse, down to each individual muscle in their body.

  The man didn't jump; he desperately threw his body across the bottomless pit. The lady didn't sigh; she folded her arms and exhaled a weak mist into the chilly night. The president's face isn't a potato; it's a squirrel's ass with a bushy tail for a combover.

  These details matter, and you should always be aiming to create the most complex storytelling experience for your audience!

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  They always say that a picture paints a thousand words. What they don't tell you, is that it only takes four or five words to paint a picture. How many mental images do you think you can create in one paragraph, never mind a chapter?

  I know that this has a similar vibe to the 'five senses' one, but trust me, these are two entirely different issues at hand. You don't need to be good at describing scenes in order to navigate them properly. Just take your time while mapping an action or gesture, and imagine that you are physically present with your characters.

  What idioms can you use? What surrounding factors can impact the scene? Everyone handles these intricate details differently, so it's best to figure out how much you want in your story.

  Of course, this doesn't just apply to people. Plot devices are a lot easier to understand when they are actually shown, instead of being referenced in dialogue only. It's like learning how to ride a bike or go swimming - you can't teach someone by telling them what to do, you've gotta show them!

  I swear, you just told everyone that they shouldn't tell people things.

  I have accepted my dark role as the Lord of Hypocrisy. You should, too.