Hurt

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~~~Taehyung~~~

Waking up alone and disoriented, with hardly any memory of the night before, isn't exactly normal routine- nor is it something I'd want to make a normal routine.

My head pounds as I roll onto my back. My cheeks feel slightly sticky and almost as if they're stuck in place, covered in dried tears. I'm forced to keep my eyes shut, eye goop keeping them stuck together.

As I slowly slide my tongue across my chapped lips, I let out a quiet sigh. Everything hurts. My head throbs, my stomach churns, and my heart aches. Carefully, I rub my eyes to rid them of the burdening goop and slowly peel them open. The light flowing through a crack in dark red curtains rests directly on my face, as if the universe itself is trying to hurt me.

I roll myself out of bed, luckily landing on my feet, and glance down at myself. I frown, realizing I had fallen asleep in the clothes I had on yesterday. What happened last night?..

I groggily make my way to the kitchen and take in the sight in front of me. Jin stands over the stove, swatting at Namjoon who's trying to help, "Oh, come on it'll be quicker if we both do it!" followed by, "You'll burn down my kitchen!"

Yoongi is leaning against the wall, watching the exchange with an indifferent expression. When he notices me, he tilts his head down and sends me a sympathetic smile. My frown deepens.

Hoseok sits on the counter and steals a chocolate chip from a bowl, laughing as Jin swats his hand away with a scowl, "If you two keep bugging me no one will get breakfast!"

Finally, I turn towards the dining table. The ache in my heart turns into a piercing pain as I watch Jungkook and Jimin laugh together. Suddenly, memories from the night before flash before my eyes, and I feel the same way- or possibly even worse- than before I fell asleep.

My eyes widen as I feel hesitant, but firm, arms wrap around me from behind. Turning my head, I'm met with a puff of green hair as a head is laid on my shoulder.

"Y-Yoongi-hyung?" my voice comes out as a surprised squeak, barely loud enough for the others to hear. The conversations in the room seem to die down as everyone looks at me. My heart pounds furiously as my cheeks heat up. I'm not sure if the reaction is embarrassment, or anger.

"Hey, Tae, how'd you sleep?" Jin asks with a soothing smile. His eyes hold worry and pity in them, giving me a funny taste in my mouth.

"Ah- fine.." I manage a fake smile as my eyes flit over each face in the room.

"That's good," Jin turns to the stove, "I'm making your favorite, so take a seat and behave."

Yoongi's arms loosen around my waist before completely disappearing. I watch as he sits across from Jimin and Jungkook, and watch as he sends them a malicious glare when he thinks I'm not looking. With a small frown, I walk over and sit next to Yoongi. Before I have a chance to, however, hands grip my waist and pull me onto a pair of legs. My eyes widen and my cheeks turn bright pink as I glance at Yoongi, "H-hey-.."

Yoongi ignores me as he wraps his arms around my waist tightly, holding me against him. I purse my lips and sigh, slowly melting into his embrace. With my eyes cast down, I shrink into myself and try to ignore the burning gazes of the people around me. After a moment of sitting in silence, a crash is heard and laughter as well as yelling sounds through the room. I look up and watch as Hoeseok laughs loudly while dodging Jin's wildly swinging spatula. Laughter of the other's resound in my ears, only serving to bring my mood down further.

Kookie is smiling.. laughing. He's letting Jimin hyung hang off him like a koala.. he's not even sparing a glance my way.. Does he not love me anymore? What.. what did I do wrong? Does he even still care about me?

A fresh wave of sadness washes over my body, draining me of any energy I might've had left. Fresh tears prick the corner of my eyes and my throat burns with the need to yell, sob, anything. My body trembles as I take in shaky breaths, trying to keep myself composed.

Yoongi's arms tighten around me as he pulls me closer to his chest, resting his chin on my head. I snuggle into him and turn my head to hide my face with his shirt. Even though I was taking deep breaths to calm me down, I can't help to do it now in order to take in his scent. The conversation in the room becomes background noise as I focus only on the sound of Yoongi's heartbeat. I feel a pressure on the top of my head and tilt my head up.

"Did.." I trail off, pushing my bottom lip out in a confused pout as I take in the small smile Yoongi wears.

I jump as something hits the table behind me, turning in time to catch Jungkook's back as he disappears out of the room. With a small sigh, I turn towards Jin who's standing next to the table with a sympathetic smile, holding a plate out to me.

Despite feeling the opposite of hungry, I nod thankfully and reach out for the plate. Once I have the plate in my hands, a loud crash is heard upstairs and causes me to jump, the plate falling from my grasp. Time seems to slow as the room goes quiet, everyone staring at the plate slowly falling to the floor. My heart pounds loudly in my chest as I watch the plate shatter on the floor, the food Seokjin worked so hard on spilling across the tiles and creating a sticky mess. My mind goes blank and all I can think to say is, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." a repeating mantra like a scratched record, my hands shaking as I stumble off of Yoongi's lap and attempt to pick up the shattered pieces.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry.." my finger catches on the edge of a broken shard and I whimper, staring at the crimson flowing out of the cut freely, dripping down my finger.

"I'm s-sorry..." blood drips from my hand and mixes with the food on the floor.

"I'm s-so sorry.." my breath hitches, my words barely legible through chokes sobs and loud hiccups.

"I'm... I'm sorry.." my mind barely registers as strong arms warp around my torso, lifting me off the floor.

"I'm sorry..." my eyes drift shut as I'm carried out of the room, exhaustion flooding over my body and pulling me into a deep sleep.

I'm sorry...

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