The Doctor's Gangster (BOOK ONE)

Chapter Thirty-One

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(Play the music above if you're going to read this chapter, it will make it sadder)

It's been a month that I haven't seen Xavier. That day when our house explodes Julio knocked on my father's doorstep, saying "Xavier didn't make it" and "I lost him" I asked him where's Xavier and he answers me with one word that breaks my heart "Dead"

The word dead is a strong word that will make us cried for a reason, missing someone important to us.

It's been a month and it still hurts me finding out that he was gone, that he will never come back.

Kenvier always asks me where's Xavier I told her that he was traveling around the world that he will be back soon even tho I knew that he will never be. Kenvier loves Xavier even she only knew him for two days, five hours, 23 minutes, and 30 seconds.

Three days after the explosion we inspected the house and we found his body, all burned we don't even recognize that it's him. We even made a DNA test to know that if he was dead and it's turn out positive.

We became close for a month and it hurts me to know he was gone, he becomes my crying shoulder when I found out that the family that I thought they were isn't my real family. He did make me laugh for a month, every time I'm with him he makes me happy even though he didn't know that. I feel alive when I'm with him, now that he was gone I don't know if someone can make me happier than him. I will never forget him.

I still remember when he was dancing and singing the song frozen in front of Kenvier. I still can picture him singing that song it makes me smile when I remember that. I also still remember the day when he makes me fried the chicken even tho I don't know how he still wants me to learn to cook without an umbrella blocking the oil from my skin.

And the best part is that when we almost kissed that day, I admit I was disappointed when we didn't kiss that day.

He makes me fall for him even I always blocked my feelings for him, he makes me do the things I haven't done before.

I just realized that I love him when he was gone, that I will never hold him, touch him, kiss him, and even make love to him, it makes me realized that I was too late to tell him that I love him.

It's breaking my heart just to think he will never be with me. I was so dumbed to fight my feelings for him and it's also breaking my heart that he died because of me, I let him stayed when I knew that they will be going to blow up the house I didn't make him come with us.

It's all my fault, I should be the one to blame for his death. Not Julio nor his enemy. He saved me from his enemy and died for me. It's all my fault and I will never forgive myself for his death.

I should suffer more than him, he doesn't deserve to die, it should be me. I can't smile thinking of his name or them mentioning his name in front of me.

And today his funeral, it takes a month to allow us to cremate his body, to see him one last time as ash in front of us.

I can't even look at his ash.

All of his friends, family, fans, his stalkers, his men, business partners, and co-gangster are here mourning his death.

"We would like to call Kennedy Danielle King. Xavier Anthony Grey's Fiancé for her farewell speech" The hosts said.

I walk in front of everyone. I tried not to cry in front of everyone especially Kenvier, she just found out that he's dead. She still hasn't stopped crying.

"Thank you to everyone for coming to his funeral, we all know that this is the last time we will spend our time with him. Xa---" I paused, I couldn't fight my tears anymore so I burst into tears.

"Xavier is everything to me, he makes me smile when there's no reason to smile anymore. He makes me laugh when I'm so angry, he makes me love him for so many reasons. I regret that I haven't told him that I love him when he was alive. I was so stupid for not telling him that. All I know is I was too late to tell him that now. That he's now in heaven looking out for me, for Kenvier, for all of us. I'm sorry" When I say the last word my knees meet the floor. I keep saying 'I'm sorry' all over again. I'm blaming myself for his death.

Damien helped me and guide me to sit next to him, he hugged me and I cried to him.

"Xavier" I whispered his name "I love you, please come back"

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I told you, it is not yet the end. The future chapters are kind of cringey (for me at least) read at your risk.