70 Deadly Wattpad Sins (The Book Of Evil Advice!)

Sin #26: Why I'm Leaving Wattpad (Goodbye.)

  There comes a time when—

  You're WHAT?!

  I was just about to—

  Without even telling me? What the balls, dude?!

  If you'd let me talk, I'll explain... I suppose you and many others clicked here to find out why I'm hanging up my writer's cap. It's been a long run, and you all deserve to know the truth behind the curtain.

  The fact of the matter is, I'm just leaving my house to go and get some milk. While I'm out, I don't think I'll be able to post any updates or respond to any messages. My deepest apologies.

  *Hyperventilates* So... you're not leaving forever?

  Heck no! Before I pop out though, there is a small topic I would like to cover. Specifically, clickbait — the neat little trick that roped most of you in faster than a shirtless celeb on a Buzzfeed article.

  In this new age of misleading headlines and 'alternative facts', our need for instant gratification vastly outweighs our desire for honesty and integrity. The human mind wants to be sparked with excitement and dopamine. Reading a dusty newspaper alongside a lukewarm cup of Earl Grey? Not so much.

  For those that are just joining this century, clickbait is the term used when a website (or literally anything else) drums up intrigue for an article's title, usually to the point of creating bald-faced lies. 

  Top 10 Reasons Why Judaism Is Completely Anti-Semitic

  You Won't Believe These 7 Straight Celebrities That Could Totally Be Gay (Maybe?)

  39 Trump Quotes You Didn't Know Existed Because They Don't But We Still Need Ad Revenue

  Wow, that is actually pathetic. There's no way people would fall for that, right?

  Have you seen Facebook recently? Just be thankful there's not a million exclamation points and emojis, otherwise you'd have no choice but to surrender.

  This technique works wonders in every medium, not just online. It is becoming increasingly acceptable for major news networks to make up slander and half-truths, anything to pull in clicks and public interest. They generate so much more money out of these false reports than accurate ones, it's hard to judge them for playing the cards we gave them.

  Yeah, the world sucks right now. Is this relevant to Wattpad at all?

  Wattpad is safely tucked away in the realm of fiction, but I'm still concerned for its future. As a social media platform, everyone here is susceptible to what I like to call 'Tier 2' clickbait. 

  We've all probably had that one friend. The attention seeker who always posts crap like how no one cares about him/her, that they're about to delete their account or whatever nonsense. You'll also see that their comments are always swelling with tons of support and 'nooo, we love you, don't leave' messages. People patting themselves on the head for being so charitable, the usual.

  Just replace ad revenue for online popularity, and you'll see how similarly the two veins co-exist. These emotional vampires (copyright pending) will play on your heartstrings every chance they get, spamming your newsfeed with titles designed to inflame the senses. 

  They'll say anything to make you read their Wattpad story, watch their Youtube video, spend five seconds of your time on the mystery of their headline. You may have moved on by then, but they still managed to extort a click out of you.

  The proof? I just did it with this title, and although I can't see the numbers yet, I'm positive that this chapter will receive a tremendous boost because of the implication. 

  This genuinely saddens me. Clickbait is not a technique that should be resorted to here, not on a literary platform. We are better than Buzzfeed, people.

  You're not. You just used clickbait five seconds ago, you butt.

  Yeah, but everyone knows I'm not perfect. If I can use the forbidden technique at least once to spread awareness of its malicious power, then I think it's worth the reputation loss.

  Don't encourage or tolerate this lazy method, if you ever see it out in the wild. Tell it like it is, let the content creator know that they shouldn't deceive their audience for a few extra clicks. It's perhaps okay if they're trolling for satire, but if their business model relies upon repeatedly manipulating their fans?

  No. It's demeaning to the consumer, to the producer and everyone in-between. While it might be easy to trick attention and money out of people, earning their respect takes years of hard work. It doesn't always have a price, but in the long run, your integrity is so much more valuable.

----

  Sorry about the ol' switcheroo back there, but I really do need to get going soon. I wasn't kidding about that milk — can't have my fancy-pants pretentious tea without it. When I finally do leave Wattpad, it'll be a lot more emotional and heartbreaking than this, don't worry.

  Clickbait culture is all around us, but it's a symptom of how our own brains work. Whenever you browse Youtube and come across a Top 10 countdown in the related videos, that curiosity is what contributes to this modern epidemic.

  It's totally fine, if you find yourself locked in one of those infinite-click rabbit holes. Just be aware that these content creators are playing dirty. Never hold them in the same regard as the not-so-vocal heroes of honest media, the ones who will always have your back.

  P-Promise you'll never leave me? I'll stop existing, if you do...

  I'm not going anywhere, buddy.

  *hugs*