Chapter 15: Opening Up

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"Really?" I questioned mockingly, "I thought you were going to die."

Penn grinned, albeit a little half-heartedly. "And you turned me down anyway? Some friend you are."

That was good, Penn and I were joking. If we could do that, maybe we'd end up all right.

We chatted a little more, most of it was Penn singing my praises, and eventually I decided to retire back to my humble abode. My mother was off at some conference and my father had a series of meetings which luckily allowed me to enjoy all the wonders of being home alone. I guess I couldn't expect them to stick around after they made their appearances last night.

If there's one good thing about their absence, it was I wouldn't have to worry about them being angry about last night. They'll probably have forgotten everything the next time they see me, that's what happened the last time I was grounded.

As I entered the kitchen, I realized that they were going to be gone for a while. A shiny new credit card sat on the counter, a sign that I would need to fend for myself for a while. You know, order food, buy groceries, and maybe pay a bill or two if they're gone that long.

There was nothing in the beautiful but consistently empty stainless steel fridge so I took that as a sign to order in lunch. I could go grocery shopping tomorrow, when the notoriety from last nights events calmed down enough that I wouldn't be swarmed with attention.

That was how I found myself back in my pajamas, curled up on the living room couch as I watched some trashy show about nothing. It was a good use of my time.

Just as one woman, whose name I had long forgotten, started clawing at another woman, whose name I had also forgotten, the doorbell rang twice in rapid succession. That was the code I had sent to the pizza place so I'd know who was at the door. Can you blame me? I'm home alone enough to know not to answer the door for just anyone.

The trick was something I had picked up from a horror movie, or at least I think it was a horror movie. It could have been a romance however, all I remember is that one of the main characters was a babysitter who ordered a lot of pizza.

The pizza guy, a junior named Larry, was not on the other side of the door. Rather, it was an oddly familiar green-eyed douchebag and I wish I was talking about Spitfire, or Penn although he is far from an asshole. Can we take a moment to think about how all three of the guys that I am regularly around have green eye?. How the hell could that be a coincidence?

Then again, Larry has browns eyes and I'd argue he's just as important as the other three, without him I'd likely starve to death.

Back to the green-eyed asshole who stood on the other side of the door instead of the loveable brown-eyed guy I had expected to be delivering pizza.

"Hey." Murphy stared at me blankly.

"Hey." I mean what the hell else am I supposed to say.

I didn't invite Murphy to stand at my front door so I have no responsibility to engage him.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry about this morning."

"That's a lie," I am so freaking hungry and having him show up is like the universe teasing me. "You're here to say something else, I know you Murphy."

"Are you ever not difficult?" Murphy looked genuinely angry at my remark, "I come here to apologize and you have to throw it in my face. You seriously think that what happened last night was okay, that it was completely acceptable?"

Murphy took a step forward, sending me into the house as I tried to back up with every step he took forward, "Murphy..."

"You like to think that you're alone because your parents seem to believe leaving you alone for days and weeks on end is an acceptable form of parenting. You think that no one gives a damn just because your parents barely have to time to remember to leave your money so you won't starve to death." Murphy groaned and turned away, forcing himself to calm down. "Penn gives a damn about you, Mary gives a damn about you, and I sure as hell give a damn about you and last night some deranged freak tried to drop you off a building. That was terrifying, as if being held up in that building wasn't enough, that freak just picked you off and flew away as I was stuck in that ballroom for hours. I had no idea if you were even alive, and you weren't answering any of my messages. Any."

For a moment, I got a look inside Murphy. Penn had been right early, insisting that Murphy hadn't really been mad at me. I know Murphy cares about me, we've known each other long enough for that not to be a question in my mind.

It's just that I've never really thought about it, given any thought to exactly how much Murphy values our friendship. Penn and Murphy will always have their friendship but Murphy and I were different, he wasn't the same person to me that he was to everyone else. Murphy is not the kind of guy who wastes his time on people, he's always been pretty good about the weeding people didn't matter out of his life.

I've never really noticed how close Murphy and I are. Our relationship is something I've always chalked up as a byproduct of our mutual friendship with Penn. That doesn't explain how much time we spend with each other, how often we're together without Penn's presence.

To be honest, I've never really considered how important Murphy is to me.

Suddenly, the complete knowledge that I was in the wrong here hit me and I couldn't control the guilt. Penn had been right, he and I were two of the most important people in Murphy's life and I didn't consider how my close encounters with death had affected the people around me.

So I did something that I will forever deny, something that was so out of character that the thought of not mentioning it seemed surprisingly tempting.

I wrapped my arms around Murphy and held him tightly to me. As much as I like to say that our relationship is based on Penn, that wasn't the case. Murphy had always been there for me and I wasn't about to let one of the most important people in my life be ignorant of how much I truly appreciated him.

"I can call you Oliver if you want, the offer still stands if you ever change your mind."

Calling him Murphy had been a way for me to annoy him as much as it had been the way I saw him. Oliver and Murphy were two different people, two halves of one person. Murphy was who he had been to me, but slowly I started to see Oliver, who was broken and needed to know that he was loved and that the people who cared for him were safe.

Maybe I should...

"No." Murphy's voice cut through my thoughts, "Don't you dare start calling me Oliver."

"I know ..."

"No." Murphy left no room for argument. "I was understandably upset before but that's because I didn't understand Murphy, I didn't understand why you chose that name."

"It's your name, it's the same last name as your father and his father before him."

"It's not his actually," He got quiet, "My father didn't show up and hell hath no fury like a mother post-birth with an MIA husband. My mother had had an affair that...led to me?" Though he was laughing, I could see how much this story hurt him. " My mother thought naming me after my real father was the perfect dig at a man who values name and appearances above all else. My adoptive father started calling me that name when I was three, it came out one day when my parents were arguing and after seeing how it twisted my mother's face, he knew he found the means to get back at her, and me."

"Murphy, I..."

"No, I know what you're thinking but no. You call me Murphy because we're friends, because it's our thing. You're one of the few people who have ever called me out on being an asshole, which even I can admit is sometimes true. You don't call me Murphy because you want to hurt me or because you want to use me to hurt someone else. Murphy is the way you see me and it's because of you that I don't really hate my name anymore."

My heart fluttered, I couldn't deny that his words had stirred something deep within me.

Murphy had never mentioned his father, hell I've never even met the guy. How the hell is this not something I knew?

"Penn doesn't know either." Murphy shrugged, "It never came up. My father wouldn't admit it either, he changed it to Oliver Thompson Murphy and told everyone they had dictated it to the nurse and she mixed the order up."

"What about your real father, have you ever met him?"

"Once," Why is Murphy telling me this? "That's a story for another time though. Hopefully a time will come when I'm willing to tell you everything, but we've had enough of a heart to heart for today. Someday soon I think I'll be ready to open up again to you."

To me.

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