e. one

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A leaf cracked loudly under the black boots that appeared out of nowhere, next to a ragged pair of brown, worn-out shoes, the two stepping away from each other, walking in silence.

The weight of the new findings made him keep his distance from her, and she was okay with it.

The painful, heartbroken kind of okay. The okay you are when the person that stood by you through it all, suddenly has no faith in you, the okay when you wish to be a little child, when it's still fine to crawl into your parent's lap and cry.

He was her parent, even when she finally met her blood-father, Remus was Sawyer's father.

And she wanted to be a four years old girl who didn't want to have her back to the door, and didn't want to handle with the pain by herself, so she opened the door to her room and walked up to Remus, even though he was sleeping, and curled up to him, crying into his beige buttoned shirt that smelled of him.

She wanted Remus to wake up, and not ask what happened, but simply hug her and assure her that nothing will hurt her anymore, that he wouldn't let anyone make her cry again.

Sawyer wondered what Remus would do if he's known he's the first person that would made her cry since that day.

Would he still care?

Or has she lost him completely?

In the same heavy silence, Remus unlocked the door to their house, and Sawyer spoke no word as Meeko stood up to greet her, two of them walking straight up to the small, plain room which was hers. A poster of a random Muggle Band called Nirvana was hanging on the wall, unmoving, in direct contrast to posters in the Wizarding World, the man in the middle wearing sunglasses that hid his face, and besides her bed was an open, mostly empty, suitcase.

Sawyer rubbed her nose as it started running against her will, and she took a moment to focus on her breathing, her knees weak as she sat down on the floor. She pulled the box that was safely tucked underneath her bed, staring at it for a moment in a silent doubt, before deciding to pack her school-neccesseties along.

She wouldn't burden Remus with her presence anymore.

She layed her books down, then covered it with some clothes, slowly allowing herself to bid farewell of her childhood home.

A single drum of fingers against the open door to her room made her turn around, hoping she looked preppy as usual.

"Yeah?" she asked with a stupid smile on her face, and he looked at her weirdly.

Remus hesitated for a short second, before he dodged the subject swiftly, "when will you be back from the Weasley's?"

"Not sure," she hummed, "We'll see once we're done with the World Cup." He nodded, hovering in his spot.  "Anything else I could  help you with?" she wondered with politeness that, in Remus' opinion, didn't suit her one bit. 

"You know...  You know I'm just upset about you not saying anything until today. It's a lot to process, but... I don't care about it all that much. I mean, I do. But you're still--"

"Yeah, it's fine," Sawyer almost choked, nose practically buried in the closet. "Don't worry about it."

But he did.

"Yeah..." he hovered a moment more. "I'll be at the kitchen, join me for dinner before you catch the Knight Bus."

"Of course," she smiled so widely, hoping it reached her tone, unlike the tears that were staining a shirt that didn't fit her anymore.

"Okay then." he shut the door as he walked off, and Sawyer bit her lips, not allowing a whimper of a sort to escape her lips.

Meeko purred as he rubbed his head against her leg, but she couldn't even assure him that she was okay.

She wasn't even sure of that anymore.

::

The good thing about the economy status of Remus Lupin was the fact that Sawyer couldn't afford having too much, and thus, her suit-case wasn't heavy in the least, so she could easily carry it without making a single noise.

Sawyer's lips were already bleeding when she stopped by the kitchen. Remus was silently cooking a small dinner for the two of them, hovering over the gas.

Her right hand trailed to her wrist, trying to keep track of her racing, pained heart.

She wondered what counted as normal pains in hearts, if there was even a thing like that. Could she by dying? She didn't know if it was possible for her to die of heart failure, but at the end of the day, she was still a living thing, and all living things have hearts.

Maybe she would die and that would solve everything for everyone.

She shook her head, giving Remus a last glance. 

And with no other word, she's left.

::

A\N

SO I'M REALLY PUMPED CUZ THIS IS SAWYER KIND OF DISCOVERY STAGE, THAT STARTED AT THE BEGGINNING OF THE THIRD YEAR

FIRST SHE FINALLY FOUND OUT WHAT SHE IS [you'll know much later, but so many clues are scattered around that you'll probably have some kind of an idea at a point. Think of Meeko by the way], THEN SHE STARTS HAVING FRIENDS AND FALLS IN LOVE WITH OLIVER, AND PART E WILL BE SUCH A BITCH FOR SAWYER, anyway, just wanted to talk about it for a second, as well as point out, that you should expect shitloads of uncanon stuff. Not in the way that Snape will suddenly fall in love with Bellatrix or something, but seriously, get ready since everything will be...

Weird?

Anyway, nothing that the Queen Rowling has written is set in stone fo Sawyer.

I'm sorry and I will cry too.

We're officially in the second part of the series.

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