Chapter 23

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It was with ecstatic relief that I woke the next morning with an arm draped over my torso, the mattress curved to his weight and my skin still hot to touch. All fears that developed overnight eased.

            I was not alone anymore.

            The breeze that drifted through the room was calm, carrying the echoes of the waves beating their serene melody. My face cooled at the stroke, strands of my hair waving in its current. I shivered as the air drifted down my spine, but settled as Derek's arm coiled tighter around my waist, his groan reverberating through my neck.

            I rolled over to face him, guided by his hands until I rested against his chest.

            He inhaled as he opened his eyes. "I just want to stay here," he said. "No more fighting. No more agency. Just you."

            I smiled, closing my eyes as he planted a soft kiss on the top of my head. I arched my back to shift closer, moving my arm across the contours of his chest.

            He flinched.

            Knitting my brows together, I lifted the covers, holding my breath at the purpling bruise across one side of his ribcage. I had spotted it a few days earlier but refrained from asking him about it. But now...
I swallowed. "Who did it?"
"Mika," he replied.
"Did Alistair ever...?"
He held me closer. "Yes. Though, Mika was more vicious."
"What happened between you two?" His condition for helping Alistair was his life. He refused to tell me why.
"I mentioned how I was promoted for a brutal mission a while back."
It made him despise Alistair. "You did."
"It was abroad in the middle of a warzone that had gotten really bad. The enemy compound had intel on battle plans that could have killed almost two-hundred soldiers. I was given a partner for the mission, and the Alpha Squad that I had to lead when my partner was killed so quickly. I didn't know what I was doing, but Alistair communicated with me throughout. He told me to use the squad as a distraction to get into the main section of the compound from behind. It was certain death for them... and I didn't even argue. I got the intel and was promoted, but a squad of twelve and my partner were lost. I was the only survivor."
My lips parted. "And Mika—?"
"His wife, Sarah Augustine, was part of that squad."
I frowned. "Does Mika not know you followed Alistair's orders?"
"I imagine not. If Mika thought that, he would realise Alistair was mainly to blame." He wiped the sheen of sweat for his forehead and sighed. "I'm not entirely innocent. If I had spoken out against Alistair—"
"That's not what you're trained to do," I replied. "It's not your fault if you relied on your training."
"But I should have relied on my instincts."
"Derek, you saved almost two-hundred soldiers—"
"They died anyway."
I blinked. After all that... "What?"
"I got the intel – was even promoted for it – but it was still too late. The soldiers had already been sent out into a trap. A few dozen survived."

            War was harsh, but it did not mean those who signed up to fight in it could not mourn their decisions. Derek defied all human nature to defend the squad, carried the weight of their losses but the conclusion failed in balancing it all out. The sacrifices were for nothing.

            Knowing this, I realised why Derek believed Alistair had betrayed his country so quickly.
"I'm sorry," was all I could say.
"Don't be. It's not on you."

            That incident may not have been. But for years I stood by Alistair's side and obeyed almost every command, damning the consequences beyond what he told me was right.

            His thumb circled on my skin, noting my silence.
"But screw Alistair," he said. "I'd like to know more about you instead."
I laughed. "Like what?"
"Like..." He bit his lip. "If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you pick? No restrictions whatsoever."
I frowned in thought. "I'm... not sure. I've always wanted to just be a typical tourist, you know? Travel around Europe, see the sights, taste the food, experience the culture."
"We could do that," he said. "Finish this cruise, hire a car and keep driving. Never stop until we know the roads by heart."
I broke into a laugh, grinning at his optimism. "You're a dreamer, Derek Barnes." I craned my neck to kiss him.
"Says the bookworm." He looked from my lips to my eyes. "We could do it, you know? Cut all ties and see the world. Just you and me."
I shook my head. In a different life, I would have jumped at the chance, but I had responsibilities in London – as did Derek. Alistair needed bringing to justice, lives needed saving, and I would never leave Scotty behind. "If only it were that easy," I said.
"It can be."
His face lit up in a way that made me question his humour. "What about your family?"
The light faded. "I have my step-dad and sister, but they've got each other to lean on. They always have. I rarely see them, anyway."
"No mum?"
"She died when I was a teenager."
His features did not falter – he was numb to it. "And your dad?"
I flinched as his chest rose then fell. "He's a bounty hunter. I never really knew him."
Agents never had the easiest of childhoods but having a bounty hunter for a father was unheard of to me. It almost gave a sort of sick comfort when thinking of Marcus, as though he would understand.

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