The Piano and The Past. /Johnny/

Chapter 14

Youngho opened two beer cans. He gave one to Nara, who was sitting on the swing in the park. "Here." He leaned on the swing's pole and gulped his beer.

"Thanks."

"They don't have that weird juice. So beer it is." He tried to melt the situation from earlier. His words made Nara fazed for quite a while.

She moved the swing slowly while drinking her beer.

"Say something. I feel like a bad person." He sat down on the ground, his shoulders on the same level as her knees. He played with nearby pebbles.

Nara sighed. "Do you think I'm hurting myself?"

"I don't think. I know you're hurting yourself." He sipped his beer.

"Then how don't I feel hurt one bit? I even feel slightly happy seeing his face."

Youngho threw one pebble hard, shocking the passing squirrel. "You need to let him go, from my perspective. I don't even understand the concept of first love or whatever, but you need to let him go."

"But as you can see, I'm fine. I'm not hurt at all."

"You'll be surprised if you later see the wound." He flicked her knee.

"What are you doing??" She said angrily. But he didn't answer her. Nara waited for his answer. She then gave up and stood up from the swing.

Then the pain from the flick came in. She bent her knee. "Ack!"

Youngho tried to contain his laugh.

"Are you laughing just now? You did this!"

"See? When I actually hurt you in your comfortable position, you only complain but not actually hit me back or something vengeful." He stood up. "But when you're away from the swing, you feel the pain."

"And your point is..?" She rubbed her knee.

"That you're too comfortable to feel that you're hurting yourself. It will pile up when you're away from that Kim Youngjin guy." He smiled softly and handed her a hot-pack from his pocket. "That's why I want to help you."

Nara clutched the hot-pack. "But why?"

"I don't know. Maybe I like you." He shrugged his shoulders. "Hehe."

A weird feeling struck Nara. But it was uncomfortable for her. It felt nothing like the tripled heartbeats from earlier, or when he touched her cheeks. She didn't like the feeling and immediately comparing Youngjin with him. She even thought that Youngjin wouldn't like her being with a guy.

"Please stop it." She said.

"Stop what? Giving you hot-packs?"

"I don't know. This." She handed back his hot-pack. "Being around me like you do like me. We just met, it's...uncomfortable."

"Well. One, you know my little brothers and friends, and you don't seem to be uncomfortable around them, and vice versa. Two, sure we have nothing in common but we get along pretty well for two strangers. And three, this is our third drink together." Youngho gently clinked his beer can with hers.

That weird feeling came again. She then figured out what that was. "I don't want another guy in my life. I'm tired learning new things with new person, explaining who I am, exposing what I am... I know I may sound stubborn, but we had something, Youngjin oppa and I. And I want to think that it's worth fighting for."

Youngho put his beer can on top of her head, lightly hitting her. "Stupid."

"Excuse me??"

"If he made you feel that way, then it wasn't love." He took his can again and sipped. Then he dunked it into a nearby trash can. "It's the guy that has to fight."

Nara looked at him. The cold moonlight reflected on his face with soft expression.

"But well, it's up to you." He walked away from her and jerked his head, signing to follow him. "Let's go home. It's cold."

--

Nara sat on her bed after washing her face and hair. She was going to dry her hair but Youngho's words kept repeating inside her head.

'Which part of my actions and words that can make you see, that you're hurting yourself?'
'Stop hurting yourself. I just wanted to help you.'
'That you're too comfortable to feel that you're hurting yourself. It will pile up when you're away from that Kim Youngjin guy.'
'If he made you feel that way, then it wasn't love. It's the guy that has to fight.'

"He asked questions I've been asking myself. Ck what is he, really?" She sighed and turned on the hair dryer.

The clock turned 1 am when Nayeon came. She saw the light from Nara's room. "She's still awake...?" She pushed the slightly opened door. "You just washed your hair, at midnight?"

But Nara didn't hear her under the hair dryer sound, and her back was facing Nayeon.

"What is happening with her? I thought a date with that tall guy will make her mood better." Nayeon quietly shut the door.

The laundry area was next to the kitchen, so Nayeon went to the kitchen to sort the laundry while taking out her juice from the fridge.

"This jacket looks heavy..." She checked Nara's jacket through. From candy wrappers and crumpled paper, she threw it out one by one. And stopped when she saw the crumpled paper.

'11/24
8 pm sharp
same spot

-Johnny'

"Just how many guys that she has turned down for that Youngjin guy?" She checked the name again. "It's recently... Or is it that tall guy?"

--

As the night got deepened, Youngho sat in his room staring into piles of piano books. He was sorting it out to be put away into charity box.

One book kept his attention. A melody started to play in his head, the latter moved his fingers to the matching notes on piano keyboard.

Then an image of an old guy falling from the stairs came into picture. He clenched his fist and tried to look for sweets. But nothing was on his desk, or his pockets.

"I need candies..." He was still searching when his hand stopped in one of his drawers. A box of cigarettes. He took it out. And chuckled. "Long time no see."

He contemplated hard whether to find candies or to smoke again. He used to smoke when he had hard times or just stressing out on something. But after an incident happened, he tried to stop smoking by replacing it with sweets, opted from lollipops, chewing gums, or just wrapped candies.

Youngho took one cigarette out. He searched for a lighter and looked for his other jacket. But he found a gachapon instead. Nara's gachapon.

"It's still here?" And there was a lollipop next to it. He put down the three items on his desk. The gachapon, lollipop, and the cigarette.

"My past, my current..." He pointed to the cigarette and lollipop respectively. He then pointed to the gachapon. "My future?"

He then took the gachapon and jumped into his bed.

He stretched his arm high as he stared into the unopened gachapon with one eye. "You just saved me."

He smiled and put himself to sleep.