The Evermore Dissociate(Creek)

0010

The words repeated in his mind, over and over again before it finally registered. I think I'm gay. And sure, maybe Craig should've seen it coming. He should've noticed the way Tweek took more interest in the guys at their school, rather than the idle gossip involving the girls. And of course, some of it may have been down to him not being a good enough friend to realise it sooner, or a good enough friend to pick up on certain things that Tweek may have been too close to actually notice himself.

Tweek was staring up at him with worried eyes, like he wasn't so sure if he'd actually said anything, but then Craig was talking again, and he knew he had. "Is that why you were hanging around Kenny?" The noirette frowned.

"Wh-what? No!" Tweek choked.

"You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure!"

Craig squinted slightly when Tweek finally met his stare. Those emerald green eyes he'd known for most of his life were now full of despair. This was still Tweek. This was still his best friend. Still the same twitchy guy he'd played video games with, throughout endless hours.

"So why have you been avoiding us?"

"I just, I didn't know how you'd react."

Craig sighed, dropping Tweek's wrist to sit down with his back against the tree, beside Tweek. "I don't care that you're gay, Tweek. I care that you couldn't tell me."

"I'm sorry." He breathed, falling down next to Craig, whilst bending his fingers out of anxiety. "I could barely admit it to myself. I mean, it's all just came on so suddenly, like what if it's just a phase?"

Craig looked up to the sky, watching as the birds flew ahead, before settling into the trees that swayed back and forth. Moments passed before he spoke again, and until then, Tweek had wondered whether he was going to speak at all.  "I take it you don't like Kayla then."

Tweek laughed dryly. "No, I don't like Kayla." He confirmed.

"And you're sure you don't like Kenny?"

Tweek shrugged beside him. "He has nice hair, I guess."

"You'd date someone for their hair?" Craig mused.

"No, I don't think I'd ever date anyone. It's too much responsibility. I'm not exactly a dependant guy. Nobody's going to look at me, and think, 'hey, he seems mentally stable and capable to fulfil my needs.' I mean, it's not like I can just expect someone to deal with my shit, you know?" He didn't realise how tight his throat had become as the words spilled from his mouth, stinging from the truth they held. He'd known for a while now, he was never going to be apart of that enthralling connection they only spoke about in books.

Craig's expression had finally changed, and when Tweek lifted his eyes from where they'd been staring at his hands, he wasn't sure if it was sympathy. He hoped it wasn't sympathy.

"You're not the burden you make yourself out to be, Tweek." Craig said, seriously.

"Yeah, okay." Tweek half laughed, picking at the grass and flicking it back at Craig. His attempt to abandon the topic failed, and as Craig brushed the grass from his leg, it was clear their conversation was far from over. By the time the two of them made it back to the others, they'd missed the majority of the session, though it was only Tweek who cared.

Clyde smirked when they came walking towards him, his arms spread wide-open inviting them for a group hug. Of course they denied it, standing in front of their friend with crinkled noses. "You two make up then?" He said, lamely dropping his arms to his sides and mentally erasing the memory from his mind.

Craig looked to Tweek who was biting his nails. "Yeah, misunderstanding is all."

Clyde nodded, satisfied to have his group back together again. And as the trio walked back down the path through the setting sun, Tweek's thoughts drifted to the fact this was going to be his last night sleeping in that God forsaken bed. Only one more sleepless night to go before he could be at ease in his own sanctuary, where he could wallow in self pity without any intrusions. Sure, the trip hadn't been a life altering experience for him, but he had learned something about himself that he wasn't sure he would've back at South Park. Scrap that, he would've, but maybe not so soon. The feelings he harboured for his friend were bound to come out at some point.

And even though he'd half confessed his complications to Craig, the heavy weight that dragged him down mentally was still there, still clawing at his insides, and every small smile Craig would send his way, only crush Tweek a little more each time.