My Favorite Unnie [MICHAENG]

Chapter 14

After spending that night with Chaeyoung, I decided to spend a little less time with her. Maybe distance myself a bit? This way I can sort out my feelings and maybe bury these feelings deep within me. The way I see it I only have three options.

First, I can forget about me liking her and be able to keep our friendship that I value.

Second, I can confess then get turned down, making things awkward and hard between us and eventually ending what we have.

Third, I can confess to her and she’ll accept me then we’ll live happily ever after.

The chance of me getting the third scenario is the slimmest. It’s like winning a lottery, and having Chaeyoung is my price. Impossible to happen.

I cannot risk getting the second scenario. I cannot go through that same feeling again. The feeling of being rejected, the feeling of having loosing someone I love so deeply. So having the first option would be the best for me.

But doing the deed seems impossible. The problem is, even if I don’t see her, my mind is always invaded by her. The moment I wake up, I think about her. When I drink or eat, I wonder whether she’s also having her meal. Before my eyes close, her face is all I can see. They say ‘absence make the heart grow fonder’. I guess that’s true. My plan of not seeing her so that I can stop loving her seemed to backfire on me ‘cause it made me love her more.
*****

I just got out of the shower when I heard my phone ring, notifying me that I just received a message. I immediately check it and my smile came out as if on cue. It’s a text from my favourite person in the world.

Chaeyoungie: I miss you unnie. Are you busy?

‘She misses me. Don’t read into it. Don’t overthink things. It will just make it harder for you.’ I mentally curse myself, reminding me that she simply misses me, nothing more. Still, my face heat up when I read it, and the butterflies in my tummy did their magic.

Me: Hi Chaeng. I miss you too. :) Uhmm, nope I don’t have anything to do today. Why?

It took a couple of minutes before she replied.

 

Chaeyoungie: Uhhhh… I kinda need you right now… Can you like… come visit me? I’m just hanging out in my room.

The moment I read the message, I immediately put on clothes, wore my bag and headed out my apartment. When I stepped out the door, I texted her.

Me: I’m already on my way. Be there in a minute.

I rushed my way towards her thinking about only one thing. She needs me. Right now. I need to be there for her. 
After a few more minutes, I found myself standing in front of her room. I knocked on the door and waited a few seconds for her to come out. When I heard no sound coming from inside, I panicked a little. I checked if her door knob's unlocked and luckily it is. I opened the door and I immediately searched for her.

Then I found her. She’s sitting on the corner of her bed. She has her knees tucked close to her chest, hugging it. Her head was down. Resting on her knees. I approached her slowly. I sat beside her and reached for her back caressing it.

Slowly, her head moved up and she looked at me. She smiled the second she laid her eyes on me. But her eyes told me something else. She’s hurting. Suddenly, she turned her body to face me. She placed her hands on my shoulder and pulled me in. I willingly obliged. She placed her head on the crook on my neck while I snaked my arms on her back, rubbing it softly hoping that it can make her feel better.

We stayed like that for a while. I didn’t want to ask her what’s wrong. I was afraid, but I don’t know why. I then felt her coming a little closer, tightening her grip on me.

 

“We broke up.” She whispered.

 

My mind was flooded with thousands of possibilities that may have resulted to their breakup. And a small part of me suddenly awaken. The selfish part of me. It sent my mind the idea that maybe, just maybe, I now have a chance with her. And I hated myself at that moment because I shouldn’t be thinking of these things. I should be thinking about making Chaeng feel better.

 

“I hurt him. I’m a such a horrible person unnie.” She broke down. Her shoulders are now shaking as she wet my shirt with her tears.

 

I didn’t have anything to say to make her feel better so I just let her be. I just let her cry her eyes out, and I just stayed there and continue hugging her.

The next words that came out of her mouth made my heart sink deeper. I hated myself earlier for thinking that maybe I have a chance with her. And now, I hate myself even more for even entertaining the idea.

 

“I broke up with him unnie….

...cause I’ve fallen in love with someone else....

...who won't love me back.”