Back Again

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Twenty-Nine

My heart was racing. Julia what is wrong with you? What did you get yourself into this time? I’m so insane! I’m such a maniac sometimes! Calm down. I can do this. Breathe. My chest was going up and down. What was I doing?

      Trembling, I knocked on the door of the house that would be the location to seal my fate, and end all internal suffering; whether it was for the better, or for the worse. I anxiously peered around my surroundings. It was the exemplary neighborhood. Streetlights hung overhead, illuminating the darkness of the night. Each house had a front light on, and looked to be at peace. The house I was standing at now also looked to be as quiet as the others, but in about a minute things could potentially flip.

      “Coming!” I heard a male voice call from within. I held my breath with every second weighing farther down on my shoulders. Then I heard it. A lock was turning, and the doorknob revolved. There was still a chance to turn back and leave. I didn’t have to do this. No, I did. I needed to do this. I needed to get it all out. It was a requirement- not an option.

      The door opened, and in an instant I was standing face to face with the person who could change my life. He looked at me, a bewildered expression meeting his face, clearly not expecting me.

      “Jules,” he said, stepping out of the house, and closing the door behind him.

      “Chase,” I said.

      “Why are you here?” he asked straightforwardly, putting his hands into the pockets to his side, as a placeholder.

      “Why are you wearing sweats?” I countered back as if on reflex. I always do that! Whenever I’m in an uncomfortable situation, I always turn it around to avoid what I really want to say!

      “Because it’s eleven o’clock at night, and, like any normal human being, I generally tend to chill in sweats,” he answered. “Now, why are you really here?”

      “I wanted to talk to you- face to face.” I could’ve come up with a brilliantly clever remark, but I resisted. This was no time for sarcasm (though it is one of my better traits).

      “Oh. About what?” he asked, giving me a look I couldn’t quite decode. It was a mix of interest and something else unknown to me.

      “Ya know… stuff,” I stalled, sitting down on the stoop so he couldn’t see my face.

      “Actually, I don’t know, do explain,” he prompted, dropping beside me. He spread his legs out so one of his knees brushed against mine, and the other was surrounded by air.

      “Do you really want to know?” I asked, filling my lungs with the crisp hour-till-midnight air.

      “Yes, I do,” he said, nudging my leg with his own.

      “Chase, this goes against almost every fiber in my body,” I said, tapping my foot nervously on the wooden step.

      “What do you mean?”

      “You’re a jock! You’re the quarterback! You’re popular!”

      “So?”

      “You’re the boy every parent dreams of having, and in my mind, you’re not supposed to fit in my life. I’m supposed to want someone different, and edgy, and… not you, but I don’t; I want you! I’m not supposed to like you, and yet… I do! It’s terrible, I know. But I can’t control it!” I said, my cheeks flaming up with nervousness. My stomach was doing backflips, anxious to hear what he’d say.