Aella (manxman) - ON HOLD

Just a cave

Ithel

I nodded with satisfaction looking at the two small preys I hunted. I gathered my weapons and tied the preys to a piece of wood that I carried with me as I headed to my den.

The walk was quite long. And no matter how much I tried not to, my thoughts always found their way back to him.

It will be the Agape soon. I am less insecure about how he feels as he clearly stated how much he wanted to be my Agape. He did so more than once, actually, and with admirable confidence. Yet even though I cleared it with him, I am yet to have his father's permission.

I never thought it would be so important before, since Ceri was already a grown up man and he shouldn't need his father's permission for anything. But during the last few months, living with his father was a new experience for him. One that we were both adamant about protecting. Ceri always acted obediently towards him and the fact that he truly admired Alev was certainly very helpful.

On the other hand, it's understandable how protective Alev has been of him. Ceri was the son he always dreamed of having, and seeing how perfect Ceri was, his father was bound to be very attached to him.

Which leaves me in an awkward place between wanting Ceri to take his time bonding and learning from his father, and at the same time, wanting him by my side every moment.

I honestly can't live without him anymore.

It was more than just feeding him or taking care of him. It was more than having someone to talk to and share everything with. With all his simplicity, he became my reason to be.

Before him, I wasn't truly happy. I was going back and forth between wanting to live alone, to the point of exhausting boredom, and living in the village while totally disappearing before the Agape. I am not one to fret over the past or the possible futures, and I never had ambitions or plans. Until that unique afternoon when I met him.

My Aella is so loving and kind. He's also very handsome. And despite his beauty and the joy he brings me, he never asked for anything.

"Can I kiss you?" I grinned and shook my head when I remembered the kind of requests that he came up with lately. Despite his shyness, he became much more confident with me and he never ceased to surprise me. Those were his requests, no tiger skins or rare pearls. A modest meal and closeness were all he hoped for. Which make me want to give him the world and more

I sighed as I remembered our last meeting. He was so sweet and honest. I was amazed to hear that he had thought a lot about our Agape together. That reassured my doubts about him moving forward in his new life and away from me. He seemed as eager as I was, and that meant more to me than I could express with words.

Our last meeting... that was days ago already. I sighed again, finding it very difficult not to turn on my heels and go spy on him at Alev's den. Maybe check if they stayed in or went out for another hunting lesson? That sounded very tempting, but I didn't want to risk things with Alev right now.

I knew for sure that Alev didn't hate me or he wouldn't have tolerated my presence at all. He was the kind of Aello who wouldn't hesitate to show aggressiveness to those who invade their space and were unworthy of his respect. But the truth is that he was suspicious of me now more than ever. I tried everything I could, being nice, strong, confident, helpful, caring, providing offerings, showing my hunting skills...

In the end, his opinion of me hasn't improved in the least. Our last meeting wasn't pleasant either. I didn't mean to antagonize him, but somehow, I've reached the limit of his patience. It happened nine days ago after Ceri went back to the mountain to return the children to the Aella clan. All the children were sent back and, luckily for everyone, no incidents happened whatsoever. So the new step towards harmony was fully successful, as Cailyn put it. All Aellos scattered, all but Alev and I.