Silence is trying

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Rose

Jackson walked into the room just like I had expected, he had on the same tired expression as I did. But it soon turned into a smile when he noticed me laying on my bed.

"Hey Rose, I was calling for you earlier. I don't know if you heard me or not but do not worry because I was speaking to Olive," he told me while putting down his jacket on his own bed.

I watched him carefully. He was 11, of course, it was around this age that children could shift. I am so stupid, I should be paying attention to Jackson more than I should be paying attention to Alex. I couldn't take care of a child of a few months, how the hell is it possible that I can take care of an 11-year-old boy.

"Rose?" Jackson asked while walking toward me with concern.

I couldn't bare to look at him, I failed him. I should have been there for him when he shifted, I should have been the one to help him and tell him about the accomplishment he has made.

But I wasn't.

I was so stupidly under the ignorant alpha I call a mate.

"Stupid," I said to myself, burying my face in my hands while bringing my knees to my chest.

"Rose," I heard Jackson say again but I ignored him.

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid," I repeated over and over again. Sometime between my self-hatred, I started to hit my head with my fist without knowing until Jackson grabbed my wrist stopping me from my actions.

"Rose stop, what's wrong?" he asked concerned. He put my hands down and brought his hand to my cheek and wiped away a tear, "It's been forever since I seen you cry," he said quietly to himself.

Within seconds his eyes were no longer mildly worried, they were full out scared, "Rose what's wrong what happened!?"

Before thinking I grabbed Jackson into a tight embrace, "Jackson, I-I'm so sorry," I cried on his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" he asked again.

I wiped my tears and looked at him carefully, "You aren't a kid anymore, huh?" I asked with a small smile.

"No, I'm not," he said slowly, "Look, Rose, what is wrong with you?"

I took him out of my embrace, "I know you can shift Jackson. I overheard you and Olive talking," I confessed while looking at him straight in the eye.

He just stared at me with guilt, "Rose, I'm so sorry I should have told you. I just--"

"No! Jackson, don't be sorry," I pulled him away from me and kept my hands on his shoulders, "It's my fault," I sobbed.

"Rose," he said softly, "I haven't seen you cry since my mom..." he didn't finish his sentence.

"I know. Jackson," I paused and decided to tell Jackson something that has been on my mind for awhile, "I want to train you," I said wiping away my tears.

I looked at him straight in the eye, with determination. It did not take Jackson long to change his mood into a happy one.

"Is this actually happening?" he asked as his breathing became more noticeable.

"Yeah," I answered with a smile.

He got up from my bed and started pacing around the room.

I thought he was mad or something until he let out a giant, "Yes!"

I watched as he shifted mid jump and started rampaging through the room with happiness. His happiness surrounded the room causing me to become relaxed.

If I could just do this for him, both of us will be happy. As his wolf was jumping up and down with glee I watched in awe.

You were right Maria, his wolf turned out to be the same as Dave's.

Light brown, covered.

"You look like a tiny version of your father's wolf," I said aloud.

My comment caused him to pause and watch me carefully. He shifted back.

"Really?" he asked.

I threw a blanket toward him so that he could cover up, "Really," I admitted smiling.

Things will change; I'll pay more attention to Jackson, stop worrying so much about things, and I'll be there for the people I care about.

This will be a good change. One that will be good for everyone, not just me. I can do this.

Definitely do this.

_____



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