My Everything (sequel to Secret) //EDITING//

Fifty Two

{edited}

May POV

I feel like shit today.

The downsides of taking the medication my doctor gave me is sometimes it makes me feel worse about myself, then the next day I'm fine.

I swear it's making me bipolar.

Today is my 7 week check up.

My legs dangle off the seat I'm on and I let the doctor examine me. It feels like a GYN visit more then anything.

Her eyes are a dark brown but she's nice. "How are you feeling?" She asks me, her name is Dr. Carmen.

"Okay." I answer softly. She writes down stuff on her computer and looks up at me. "So, everything looks good down there." I bite my lip. "Um, you can start having sexual intercourse again." I gulp. "If you were curious." I haven't thought about having sex with Harry. I kinda forgot about that.

She stands up and hands me pamphlets. "I know this isn't really want you want but I'm required to give it to you." I look down and feel sick.

How to deal with a loss of a child

A grieving Mother

Life after a loss of a baby

Depressed Mother

Depressed thoughts

These are some titles of the pamphlets. "Are these supposed to help?" I ask her.

"Yes, for closure." Closure in the fact that my child's dead? Will there ever be closure? I just nod.

***

I return home and walk to the dining room. Harry's on his laptop typing. "Hey babe, how did it go?" I hand him the pamphlets.

"I think they threw in Depressed Mother for fun." His eyes look up to me. They're soft.

"Are these supposed to help?"

"According to my doctor, it's supposed to give me closure." I sit next to him.

"How are you feeling?"

"Poopy." I mumble. "You?"

"Poopy." I tilt my head at him. "You're coming with me back home for Thanksgiving right?"

"You wanted me to go?" I ask.

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" I shrug my shoulders.

The thought of being around people make me sick honestly.

"I don't know." I respond.

"If you're not up for it, we can stay home." Harry reads my mind.

"I don't want you to miss out on seeing your family. You haven't seen your sister in months. Go, and have a good time."

"I can't have a good time if I'm not with you. I'm fine staying here."

Do it for Harry, May.

"Do you want to go?" I ask him.

"I don't mind. You'll get confronted about April and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"We'll go." I say. His head tilts.

"We don't have too."

"I'll be fine." I smile softly. "I'm going to take a nap." I stand up. I gently kiss his cheek and run my hand through my hair.