Fat Girl ✔️

The Date Begins

"I still can't believe Bella would do that," Sydney said, digging into a bag of chips. "I mean, we both know what Ingrid has done to you. Bella should know better."

I couldn't bring myself to break the news to Sydney about Shawn and Bella yet. It had been Bella's choice to do something like that, so why was it my responsibility to be the bearer of bad news? The thought of Sydney's heartbroken face when she found out her best friend had gone behind her back with her ex-boyfriend was too much to handle. So, as long as Shawn and Bella were keeping their relationship a secret, the new drama with Bella would be told through weird half-truths.

"If she wants to hang out with certain people, it's her choice. We can't control that."

"Still. I know Ingrid better than you do. We were best friends once. She's not the type of girl you go out of your way to befriend."

She was right. Bella wasn't even outgoing. She wasn't great at making new friends. Even Sydney and I had been forced onto her. She had to have been talking to Ingrid just because of Shawn. But how was I supposed to relay that to Sydney without spilling the beans?

"...I don't know. I guess we just have to wait to find out." 

Neither of us had heard from Bella in days. She'd been M.I.A. for a while now. I kept looking for her in the halls, waiting for a text or call, but it seemed like she was going out of her way to avoid us. I'd caught her a couple of times with Ingrid or another one of her friends, but I never bothered to approach.

"I should go. I've gotta babysit tonight...and you've got a date."

I bit my lip. "It's not a date," I said, "we're working on a project. And who knows? I might come out of this with gum in my hair or less than ten fingers."

"Right." Sydney grabbed her bag, wiping her hands on her pants as she stood up from the couch. "Let me know how that goes."

***

I'd told Sydney it wasn't a date. And it wasn't. But when the doorbell rang, I still couldn't help the pounding of my heart as I raced to get the door.

"Hey. Come on in."

Blake stood outside, leaning against the doorframe. His dark brown hair fell in front of his eyes, and he glanced around the room as he stepped inside. He walked past me, his cologne wafting towards me. 

"I put together some notes on my laptop. We can go over them if you want, figure out what we want the main focus of the project to be around. And I'm not a great artist, but if you want to do posters..."

***

"You can't deny that this is a masterpiece."

Blake stood at the kitchen table, holding up a bright poster full of photos and magazine clippings. He pointed at the large title written in bubble letters.

"We're not in 7th grade, Blake. There's no way we're turning that in." I turned my laptop around, revealing a sensible PowerPoint with a simple graphic. Blake made a face.

"Ew."

I rolled my eyes. "At least just look through it. See what you like and don't like, and maybe we can compromise. I'm going to the bathroom."

I headed down the hall to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I let out a sigh of relief as I stared at myself in the mirror. we had made it through almost an hour of working on our project, and nothing crazy had happened yet. I knew the ball had to drop at some point, but the longer this went on, the more it seemed like Blake didn't have anything planned. was there a possibility he wasn't even trying to get me back? either way, things were working out great. I'd never laughed or talked with anyone as much as I had with Blake, other than with Bella or Sydney. I was actually having fun.

As I washed my hands, I couldn't help but smile. Maybe senior year was the year everything changed for the better. 

I found Blake outside in the living room, gazing at pictures on the wall.

"Is it just you and your mom?" He asked, looking at a picture of the two of us when I was a toddler. In the photo, my mother looked down lovingly at me. My heart ached as I remembered those days, when I was her little girl. I couldn't remember the last time she looked at me like I wasn't a disappointment. 

"And my little sister, Jackie," I added, coming up behind Blake. I pointed out a photo of her on a bike. "She's at a friend's house tonight, and my mom got caught up on a work trip. I'm home alone a lot."

Blake looked back at me. He gave me a tight smile. "Me too." There was a moment of softness in his eyes, with a hint of vulnerability. I took a breath, feeling the tension in the air. Blake was a lot different than I had expected him to be. When we first met, I imagined the epitome of toxic masculinity. But he wasn't that way at all.

He broke the tension first, pointing out a photo on the wall. "Who's that?"

I hadn't looked at that photo in years. I'd learned to pass by it on my way to the kitchen or living room without giving it a second thought, a habit formed after years of accidental glances that led to an aching in my heart. In the photo, dad held me in his lap as we sat in a restaurant. I had a big smile on my face. we sat behind a tiered cake.

"That's my dad," I said, forcing my eyes away from the photo. I wouldn't cry. Not today. Not in front of Blake. "He, um, he passed away a few years ago."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" I asked, letting out an awkward laugh. "You didn't even know him."

"Still."

I looked up at Blake. He brushed the air out of his eyes with his fingers. "Can I be honest for a second?" He asked, leaning against a counter.

"Sure," I replied, my heart racing.

Blake licked his lips. He stuck his hands in his pockets awkwardly. "Going into all of this, I was just trying to get you back for the whole tripping thing. It was a joke with me and my friends. But the more time we spent together... I guess I just..." He trailed off, looking away.

"I think you're really cool, El."

My breath caught in my throat at those last words. Blake Sivan was in my living room, with his hands in his pockets, telling me he thought I was cool. He looked down at me expectantly, his brown eyes melting.

"I think you're cool too."

"Truce?"

If you can't reach the stars in the sky, why not reach the star that says VOTE?