Don't Try To Make Me Smile!// [#Wattys2016]

41: I'm not Coming back

The hungover from last night was worse than I expected, I didn't know how much I had drunk but I was paralyzed on my bed for a good number of hours, not able to move any part of my body well except my eyes.

During those periods, I tried remembering how I had gotten home, because I was very sure I couldn't have driven my drunk self home and I couldn't think of anybody I couldn't have called. Even as drunk as I was, I wasn't dumb enough to call Chelsea to pick me up. No offence, but it's my life we're talking about here. I knew it couldn't be Eric because we weren't even in talking terms, and besides I broke my phone. The only person left to mind was Nathan, it could have been him actually so I should definitely call him to thank him later.

Trying to drag myself up from my bed, I heard a knock on the door and without waiting for my response, the person let himself in. Realizing it was my dad, I felt all the energy drain from my body. Seeing him reminded me of exactly the reason why I decided to get drunk the previous night, seeing him reminded me of my mum, seeing him reminded me of how my family had been torn apart like a dollar ripped through the middle. I didn't think there was a means of fixing that.

"You okay over there?" He asked me with some bit of compassion lingering over his eyes as he walked over to my bed, he was casually dressed in a Paul Walker T-shirt, and an Alexander Wang sweat pants. In all of the time I've lived in this house, I have never seen my dad look so casual. He looked smoking hot for a man in his early forties, a more casual version of Harvey Spector from Suits.

"Barely breathing" He might think I was being usually sarcastic, but that was exactly how I felt. My mum gone, boyfriend gone, I felt like an old atmosphere bag used just once. I felt that useless, and I really didn't know how I was going to let go of this feeling.

"It's unusual for you to come in here, am I missing something?" I looked at him, too tired to even cock a brow at him.

"Not exactly, I just thought we have a lot of catching up to do" He replied.

"Oh really? So what happened to your business, work and your new wife whom you love so much huh?"

"It's not like that" my dad said with a low tone, his head lowered a bit in some sort of remorse I really couldn't understand at this point.

"Then...?"

"I've not been a good father to you Cheryl, and I want to make up for that. Juliana told me everything yesterday, and I'm sorry for being so oblivious about everything"

"You're not even a lawyer, so don't apologize like you're in a court case" I said bitterly as I got down from my bed, looking at my horrific expression at the mirror. My hair stood out in all places, my eyes were bloodshot and I'm sure my dad was scared of me. All I really needed right now was a cool bath, a lot of food and a lot of sleep which I could probably die from, I really didn't care anymore about anything.... I think.

"Cheryl...." My dad called and I whipped my head around to face him, and I instantly regretted my decision because I was still recovering from a hangover, and my head had not stopped banging.

"I love you Cheryl, maybe I'm not very good at showing it or proving it. You're still my little princess"

I lowered my eyes to the ground because I couldn't just stand looking at his face anymore. It brought so many memories from my childhood, it reminded of how much my dad and I had grown apart, and how much I had changed over the years. I wasn't that princess anymore, I was more like a soulless queen now with a broken crown.

"I miss her so much" I muttered to myself but loud enough for my dad to hear. I found myself at the edge of the cliff once more when I remembered my mom, but this time it wasn't Eric coming to my rescue, I think it's my dad.

"It has been so hard recently. Everything just seems like I'm on the edge of some cliff and I'm about to fall off. I feel so suffocated I might die and nothing is getting better" I felt the tears run freely down my cheek as my dad enveloped me in a warm hug, but yet the only thing running through my mind was Eric and all I could keep saying to myself was 'Congratulations Eric, you legit made me cry'.

I really didn't know how long I had cried, while my dad stood awkwardly trying to comfort his teenage daughter having a hard time. But by the time I was done, I concluded I still needed to take a cool bath, eat a lot food and probably still sleep a lot but then all I really needed was for someone to stand beside and say everything was going to be okay.

"Cheryl all you need right now is a vacation for your spring break" my dad told me, as I settled for the bed causing me to look at him in surprise.

"Where do you want to go? Bahamas? Paris? Cuba?" He went on

I looked at him actually contemplating where I wanted to go for the break but I couldn't imagine a place without Eric being in it with me, and after I was done with the vacation, what next? I was going to come back to face my greatest fear, Eric still not being part of my life. I didn't want that, I didn't want to leave but I didn't want to stay either. But if I was leaving, I certainly wasn't coming back at least not any time soon.

"Cheryl?" My dad called distracting me from my thoughts.

"I want to go meet mom in London" I said firmly my eyes not leaving his because the decision I was about to make was going to be a lot to take in.

"I don't want to come back"

Hey guys!
I'm sorry it took me a long while to update. School has been really suffocating and I barely had time. I'm sorry this is quite short, I wanted to write more but this book is going to end in the next three or four chapters so I'm still trying to fix things together and I don't want to miss anything out by rushing the book. Since it's spring break, updates might come sooner than you expect.