midnight // love poems

five things i hate about you

five things i hate about you

1. You make me hate being a writer. Which is more about me than you, but nevertheless. I made your mincing mouth into magic, your hesitant lips into liquid gold. I wove silver webs around your flaws and wounds to make them better. I made you poetry, when you don't deserve a single letter.

2. I hate the way you make me feel. It sounds romantic, it's not. I hate that you make me feel like bile rushing up my throat, glass shattering, bombs blasting in my temples and bleeding raw flesh. I hate that you make me feel like I'm exploding and breaking at the same time. Hatred was too violent an emotion for me before you, but hey, it's about time you made me feel something. Because you didn't when we were kissing.

3. I hate the way you kissed me. You took up moments of my life that would eventually amount to memories and treated them with no regard. Your lips came crashing down on mine, my eyes were wide open the whole time but I still couldn't see you for who you were. I will spit out everything until the taste of you has left the way you did. I hate that you've left and everything's still so lurid.

4. I hate you for ruining things that I love. You came in with a bulldozer and broke down my towers that stood precariously but perfectly. Like that song. Or the show we used to watch on TV. It makes me glad I never gave you the chance to ruin me.

5. I hate you because you're the worst kind of hurt, the kind you never saw coming, the kind that makes you question everything, the kind that comes out of nowhere. I also hate you for lying, but I can't say that without lying myself. Because I lied when I said I hate you. You have to care about people to hate them. And baby, I wish I could say I care about you. But babe, at least what one of us says should be true. And besides, termite ridden wood crumbles in front of mahogany, cherubs tremble before divinity, so good luck finding someone to love you better than me.