beyond the monotonous city

twenty eight

Lauren was very reluctant to come with Dinah and she knew why she said firmly to the girl she would come, before she would chicken out of it. She was indecisive that way.

Clara was more than happy to drive the two, Lauren running to the backseat and closing her eyes as they rode, trying to forget her most recent flashbacks. Dinah helped her out of the car, and when Lauren saw the familiar white facade of the hospital she instantly felt the same looming weight over her.

Dinah grabbed her hand, making Lauren thankful, as Dinah gave the the strength to put one leg in front of another as she walked to the facility.

She let Dinah lead her until they got to the elevators. That was the only time Lauren really took a breath as she leaned on the elevator wall.

"You okay?" Dinah asked.

"Yeah, you talk to her first I'll just probably stay outside." Lauren shrugged off.

"You can stay inside the room as we talk," Dinah said, which confused Lauren. She followed Dinah until they made their way down the familiar corridor. Dinah wrapped her arms around Sinu as they met her. Sinu hugged her tightly, and when they parted she put a hand on Dinah's face. Lauren knew Dinah probably was a huge part of Camila's life before. It must have made her parents happy that she and Camila were on good terms.

Sinu turned to Lauren who stood off to the side, looking a bit uncomfortable. She put an arm on Lauren. "You feel better Lauren?"

"I guess, I took my meds." she said. Sinu nodded, and turned to Dinah as she ushered her in the room. Lauren followed slowly behind and when she saw the curtain parting Camila from her, she sat on the couch beside it. Dinah saw and smiled, as if she wanted her there then made her way to the other side of the curtain.

She shut her eyes, trying to focus on the conversation.

"Camila, hey!" Dinah said enthusiastically.

"Dinah, I missed you so much!" said a Camila who seemed much like her old self. It made Lauren smile.

"I never thought I'd live to see the day you're back here again," Dinah's voice fell. "I imagined it that we'd grow old with our dentures falling out." She chuckled at the last bit despite the apparent sadness in her voice.

"Aw Di, you know I'd never make it that far. I'm lucky I made it past 18, well barely. It gave me a day before I started acting up." Camila sounded like she was talking to preschooler. It was grave but the way Camila talked about it seemed like she really accepted her fate and that hurt Lauren more.

Dinah sniffed. "Mila I'm sorry I pushed you away when you told me. I couldn't accept it. It was unfair, I was the one who pushed you away when we fought. I still can't forgive myself." Dinah's voice started to break.

"Shh," Camila ordered. "Let's forget about that. You didn't understand Dinah. I was scared, I liked girls but I wasn't ready for anyone else to know. I thought it would just stay with you, I was even scared to talk to you about it. Things just went down in a bad time. I forgive you. I'm way past that. It doesn't really matter to me right now."

"I don't care if you're, gay, bi or whatever. You're my best friend and I shouldn't have attacked you then, but rather tried to understand you. That's my fault. I just want you to know that I never stopped caring for you. I kept tabs on your cheer performances, I never forgot. I just didn't have it in me to go up to you again until-until Lauren came." Dinah took deep breaths as she spoke.

"I appreciate you so much Dinah, you're still my best friend no matter what. The universe may expire at any moment but I know you're my girl for sure. Please remember that. A dozen hospital trips back and forth and you were always there for me even if your mom scolded you that you practically lived under my roof." Camila chuckled at the last bit, making Dinah laugh a bit too amidst her sniffing.