Ambivalence [p.h.] - EDITING

preface || ambivalence

WHAT IS FEAR?

According to the dictionary, it's an "unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat."

I only know that because I spent 16 years in Erudite.

But, like pain, I believe fear is an illusion.

For some, it can be a force that pushes them to the brink of their sanity, harder and harder, until they fall right off the edge and crumble. Their fear is their doom.

But your fears should not consume you.

Fears should be the things that push you to the edge, so you are only left with two options.

Either you fall, or you fight back.

Either you let your fears control you, or you control them.

See, becoming fearless isn't the goal. First of all, that's impossible, and second of all, it's not what you want to do.

Fear is an instinct for you to wake up. It tells you when danger is about to slap you in the face so that you can punch it first.

It's not about being fearless.

It's about controlling your fears, and learning how to live alongside them.

It's about being brave, even when you don't want to be, because you have to.

It's about freeing yourself from their grasp, but still knowing they're there. Somewhere.

That's the point.

My name is Jaqueline Taylor, and I'm sixteen years old.

I've lived in Erudite for my entire life.

Right now, my biggest fear is the future.  What's going to happen to me?

Will I stay where I am?  Will I leave?

Will I become someone else I can't recognize?

Today, I'm a regular girl.

But who knows what tomorrow will bring?