His Disney Girl | ✓

11 | ❝what can raylee the godfairy help with today? woah, that almost rhymed.❞

raylee | lewis

❝hello?❞

❝uh, it's me.❞

❝mario?❞

❝no you moron. lewis.❞

❝oh. it's you. i'm disappointed.❞

❝i'm sorry your highness. but seriously, i need your help.❞

❝and of all the people in the world, you're calling me? you, mister, live a sad life.❞

❝okay fine. by-❞

❝no you idiot, don't hang up on me. what can raylee the godfairy help with today? woah, that almost rhymed.❞

❝no it didn't, stupid. but anyway, this 'date' is not going well. how do you seduce a girl into do what you want? navigate me through this.❞

❝no, sweetie, you do not want me to navigate you through this. i'll accidentally navigate you off a cliff.❞

❝i don't doubt that.❞

  ❝okay, we need to establish a few things before i continue this. one, when someone insults themselves, you don't continue insulting them. got it?❞

❝. . . yes. and the second?❞

❝where the heck are you calling from?❞

❝the washroom . . .?❞

❝tragic. anyway, have you thought about foot flirting with her?❞

❝i'm not fucking nine and i don't do footsie. she's professional and know how to do this.❞

❝you brought a prostitute on a date and now you don't want her anymore?❞

❝funny.❞

❝i'm hilarious. okay, okay, you can stop with that snake sound you're making now . . . bibiddi bobbidi boo, you liar. just tell her the truth. at least you're being honest, and honesty is everything. everything. she'll appreciate it, i'm sure. it's better to be honest than to seduce your prostitute.❞

❝besides the last sentence and that first cinderella thing you did there, why the fuck are you being so suspicious?❞

❝i'm not! i'm just giving you an advice. but just to make sure . . . did you get any double meaning out of this?❞

❝. . . should i?❞

❝no, not at all.❞

❝fine and thanks, stranger.❞

❝are we really strangers? i've talked to your mother and i've guided you through something that obviously looks like your first date. i think we can consider each other friends.❞

❝back up a few notch, princess anna fucking arendelle.❞

❝why her?❞

❝always thought she was annoying.❞

❝rude. but yeah, i get it. no friendship.❞

❝. . .❞

❝i can't believe i'm doing this. i'm sorry! okay?❞

❝. . .❞

❝oh no.❞

❝what is it?❞

❝i think i just felt an emotion.❞

❝are you for real?❞

❝i'm serious. i'm starting to feel sorry every time i insult you.❞

❝it's called guilt.❞

❝yes, i'm feeling guilt. what have you done to me?❞

❝you piece of shit.❞

❝it made you laugh didn't it? but i'm serious. you're making me feel guilty.❞

❝fine. you're forgiven. now go back to your date! you've been in the washroom for centuries now. she'll probably think you ran away or something.❞

❝okay. thanks.❞

❝for?❞

❝for being kind even when i'm not.❞

❝where there is kindness, there is goodness. and where there is goodness, there is magic. tralala.❞

❝of course she found a way to put disney here.❞

❝it's her specialty. now go!❞

❝fine, bye.❞

❝bye.❞

dedicated to @madlysabah for being here and being a great listener. you're my fave svenska tjej!! really guys, you should check her works out!