ALMOST A BRIDE (Open On Annie)

14

Lets review my options;

1.  I could do it! Shag him. Have sex with Chris. Through caution and inhibition and insecurity and other words beginning with ‘in’ to the wind. Just rip my clothes off and throw myself in front of him like a piece of medium-rare steak, ready to be eaten (okay, maybe not like that, but you get the idea)

2.  I could not do it. Not shag him. Not have sex with Chris. Not throw words with ‘in’ to the wind. No steak. No eating!

My mind had never whirled around so fast. It felt like someone had removed all my thoughts and thrown them into a blender, or a tumble dryer. I was dizzy from trying to sift through them. There wasn’t a single coherent thought I could grab onto, just fragments….

“Yes, he’s hot”

“No…don’t sleep with strangers, or pretend fiancés’

‘ But so sexy….”

“Yes…. No, but I like him. No, but scared of sex, YES, no, YES, no, YES, no, YES, no, YES, no, YES, no YES, no, YES, no, YES, no YES, no, YES, no, YES, no”

SHIT!

It felt like we’d been sitting still there for twenty minutes before my thoughts finally settled to a  simmer, although in reality, it was probably more like two minutes. But each second was so slow and painful and loaded with so much sex. 

Sex. Sex. Sex.

Chris cleared his throat- a definite sign that he too was feeling the discomfort. I couldn’t do this; I knew absolutely nothing about him. He was basically a stranger. This moment needed to end and I needed to be the one to do it.

“Chris” His name came out so loud and fast it was jarring.

“Annie.’ Shit, he was saying my name in a soft, sultry tone.

“Chris!” I said it again, in hopes that he would pick up on the big red line that I was drawing in the sand vocally.

“Annie.” His tone was slightly more normal now.

I took a deep breath and started, “I just…” But the words were not coming. “I… I, it’s just that-“

“I get it.” He said firmly.

“You do?”

“Totally.”

He said it all with such authority that I wanted to believe him, but without actual verbal confirmation, we could be speaking about different things.

“What are you talking about?” I asked him.

He looked at me oddly, “Why? What are you talking about?”

We looked at each other blankly.

“Well?” I asked again, “What are you talking about?”

“Same thing you’re talking about Annie.”

“But I haven’t said anything, how do you know what I was going to talk about?”

He shot me an odd look again, “The thing that you were going to say, but then I said not to worry, because I know.”

This conversation was going nowhere. We were skating around the subject like absolute idiots. I would have expected Chris to be more straightforward and to the point. He said everything else he thought, just not this. If he wasn’t going to say it, then I was going to have to be the one to do it.

My mouth opened-

“Sex!”

Chris swallowed hard and his pupils dilated.