Falling Helplessly

Chapter 36 | Burn

36

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ISABELLA

It's been three days since Miles and I have spoken.

Although I'm miserable over everything that has transpired, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm glad I said everything I wanted to say yesterday, but the anxious part of me wonders if Miles is going to walk away for good.

I should have known our relationship would come to this. It happened once over a mere inconvenience with Noel. It was inevitable that something like death would tear us apart.

I would've liked to believe that I was his safe space. The person he could come to when he needed a shoulder to cry on. The person who he could stay with during a time of need.

Everyone grieves differently, and I was collateral damage.

"Let's go out for sushi," Addy says, and I close my book.

"Can we order in?" I ask, and she smiles, disappearing from the living room and returning with her phone and scrapbook.

She's been such an amazing friend. She puts up with my random breakdowns, lets me vent, and orders me food. I'm trying my best not to dwell over things or show how upset I am because being around people who are sad all the time brings you down. And I don't want to bring Addy down.

"What are you doing with the scrapbook?" I ask.

She doesn't reply. She continues flipping through the book. A smirk spreads across her face when she finds what she's looking for. She turns it around, revealing the page with the condom wrapper.

I narrow my eyes.

"I know you haven't been speaking much about what happened, but if I were you, I would need to let anger out." She tears the page out of the scrapbook and hands it to me. "Do whatever you'd like with it."

"Addy—"

"No if, and, or buts. Go do something with it! Burn it, throw it away, stomp on it...whatever your heart desires," she says, folding her arms.

"We haven't broken up yet."

"I know," she says. "But it might make you feel better."

Trying not to smile, I stand and set my book on the coffee table. What can I do with this? What would be the most satisfying? See, if I throw it away then I'll have to see it in the garbage can. Same with stomping on it.

I look up at Addy. "I'll burn it."

A mischievous smirk fills her face. "That's the spirit!" she shouts, running into the kitchen to grab what I assume is a lighter.

While she's getting the proper items to dispose of this, I stand there staring at the paper, questioning all the things I could've done differently.

I think about that night on the rooftop. How he took his time decorating, his gentle touches, kissing. Him constantly reassuring me everything was under my control. It makes me smile and breaks my heart at the same time.

"Here!" She returns with a small metal waste can, a lighter, and a water bottle. This is probably not a good idea.

This doesn't seem like a smart idea, but I hold my hand out anyway as if we were in surgery and she was my surgical tech. "Lighter." She places it in my palm. Seconds later, I put the fire to the corner of the paper.