Dangerous Love

Chapter 34: Damnation

My body becomes numb, the type of numb you get when you break a bone that the injury is so bad you just don't feel it. I feel warm and wonder if it's the blood oozing out of my chest as the bullet should be penatrating my heart right now. The thing that surprises me the most is that my chest continues to heave while air enters my lungs and that despite my eyes being shut tightly I can still see the sunlight brightly through my eyelids.

My mouth trembles and my fingers shake, my eyes peel open to be met with the stage ground I'm kneeling on. My head shakily moves upward to look at the astonished crowd but there eyes aren't on me, they're to my far right. My head slowly moves over to Eric who's gun is no longer facing me but the complete opposite direction, then they settle on the new body that has fallen. Asher. It takes a long quiet minute for everyone to absorb what just happened, Eric had shot Asher, a leader had just killed another leader.

"We believe that justice is more important than peace," Eric's voice cuts through the silence and all eyes settle on him.

"We believe in freedom from fear, in denying fear the power to influence our decisions," he continues louder to the shocked crowd.

"We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another," his words quickly register in my head as I realize he's quoting the Dauntless Manifesto.

"We believe in acknowledging fear and the extent to which it rules us.  We believe in facing that fear no matter what the cost to our comfort, our happiness, or even our sanity.  We believe in shouting for those who can only whisper, in defending those who cannot defend themselves. We believe, not just in bold words but in bold deeds to match them," soon I notice some of the Dauntless nodding there heads in agreement, lowering their guns. 

"We believe that pain and death are better than cowardice and inaction because we believe in action," his head turns to look at me as he pauses for a moment.

"We do not believe in living comfortable lives!"

"We do not believe that silence is useful!"

"We do not believe in good manners!"

"We do not believe in empty heads, empty mouths, or empty hands!"

"We do not believe that learning to master violence encourages unnecessary violence!"

"We do not believe that we should be allowed to stand idly by!"

"We do not believe that any other virtue is more important than bravery!"

His words echo throughout the silence as the shock is abosorbed amoungst everyone. That is until the first clap sounds, cutting through the air like a knife. Soon it grows, person by person until the whole Dome is crying out and cheering for Eric, some even chant his name.

I look up at him and then back at the Dauntless who was holding me in place to see that he had dropped his gun as well. Glancing over at the other leaders all of them clap, all of them except one. Max glowers at Eric, his gun clenched in his hand and in one motion his right leg is in front of his left making him stand apart from the other leaders and his arm raises pressing the gun's barrel tightly to Eric's neck.

That's when the gunshot goes off and his body crumbles to the ground. Silence collapses as death reaks in the air and I let out an ear peircing scream. The handle is held tightly in my right hand and the pressure on my fingertip confirms my doubts, I had pulled the trigger. Eric turns around to look at the fallen body before looking at the gun in my hand that I had grabbed in panic from the Dauntless behind me.

I had pulled the trigger.

Everyone saw it.

I had killed Max.

                                                                                        

Silence consumes the Dome once more as Eric's eyes stay glued to Max's now bloodied and bent body. That is until they move to me, my arm is still extended straight forward pointing at the exact same spot that Max's head once was. I follow my arm to the tip of the gun and then move to meet Eric's wide eyes. I had killed a man in front of my whole Faction, a leader at that. I watch as Eric is the first to move across the stage towards me and it seems like everyone takes a breath as he approaches me.

His hand slides the gun out of mine and then his arm is around me so his back is facing the crowds.
"I... I... he was going to kill you I... I didn't... know.... I didn't know what to do," I stutter as salty tears stream down my face.
"Hey look at me," he whispers and my eyes connect with his, "You saved my life, thank you." Something tugs at the corner of my lips and a small smile etches it's way onto my face as I realize what I just did.

"I.." I stutter once more and remember Bailey's last words to me, "I love you." His shocked eyes stare down at me as if questioning what I just said, "I love you too," he confirms and a new feeling, something that can only be described as real love, filled my chest.