The Purpose of Miss Shepley

Chapter Nine (part I)

THE COUNTESS

I agreed to give him sons and I have done. He rewards me with diamonds -- see?

THE DOWAGER DUCHESS

Oh, very pretty.

THE COUNTESS

When a craftsman fulfills his contract, he is free to work where he will... Have I not fulfilled my contract? Have I not been paid for the fruits of my labors? Can I not be free now, as well?

THE DOWAGER DUCHESS

Yes, yes. Well said, dearheart. But there is only one question that matters, at all. What color are his eyes?

THE COUNTESS

His eyes?

THE DOWAGER DUCHESS

Yes, dearheart, are they the same as your lord husband's?

It's an easy enough thing to overlook a little cuckoo's egg, but it would be in such poor taste if the child's eyes were brown.

(Excerpt scene 3, act 1 The Connubial Contract by Gerald Bell. Banned in Ethelsburg, Stanford, Kingsley, Northpoint, Farport, and Eastport.)

.:.

As Earnest had warned, once his mother began speaking about her garden, there was to be no other conversation.

Lady Oakhurst led us round the grounds, pointing out every bud and bloom, expatiating upon their native climes, how she had come by them, and what pains she took to nurture them. The younger Grimmonds soon slipped away, and the nurse chased after them, but there was no escape for Earnest and Temperance, and most especially not for me.

Oakhurst's garden was like its grand halls. It was all lawn and topiaries, flower beds and urns full of rare cultivars -- plants that served no purpose but to look pretty and demand much care. At Ewert, we had our violets and roses, it was true, but we ate the violets, and we made tinctures from the roses.

Oakhurst did surpass Ewert in one glorious particular, however, even if it was wholly frivolous: it had an immense maze of hedges. Lady Oakhurst cast a dismissive glance over the green walls, noting, "My late husband put that in," and then she led me on toward a grove of dwarf trees, presumably of greater horticultural interest.

Temperance whispered, "It's marvelous,"

Earnest caught my arm and I fell back a few steps with him. "Shall we try it after lunch?"

I met his eyes with determination. "As if you could stop me..."

"I don't think I'd need to..." he said, his green eyes twinkling. "I'm not sure you could find your way to the maze on your own."

I sincerely wanted to punch him in the arm -- I even balled up a fist -- but my manners won out in the end, and I merely stuck out my tongue at him.

We all three of us fell into snickering, and then Lady Oakhurst, no doubt aware of some nonsense brewing behind her, told Earnest, "Go and tell Cook to send out lunch."

He murmured, "Yes, Mother," and trotted off to the house, leaving me and Temperance behind to envy him.

We completed our circuit, ending where we began, at the terrace. The nurse waited there with the children. Earnest had not yet returned from his errand, but a table had been laid out, and footmen were already bringing out platters of tarts and peaches.