How To Be The Best Third Wheel

Original Edition - Tip 12: Block Annoying People

We keep on walking. We've been walking in silence for about 2 minutes now. I take my earphones from my sweater pocket and untangle them. Ugh. I swear these earphones are more complicated than my life! Then again, I'm a pretty boring person. I pull out my phone and begin texting the girls.

Me: Guys! Where are you? I'm trying to avoid talking to a humanoid!

No reply.

Me: Guyyyyysssss!

No response.

Me: Okay I will hunt you down tomorrow!!!! Ahh!!!

I turn to James. "Why are you walking me home? My house is literally only 10 minutes away from here." I ask him, plugging an earbud in one of my ears.

"I want to make sure that you get home safe." he answers, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans as he turns to smile at me, his dimples showing making this situation a million times more deadly than it has to be.

Wait...what? I know exactly what you, yes you right there, are thinking! And the answer is no, this is not me thinking he looks hella gorgeous! I'm an A-student in english. I'm just practising descriptive writing in my mind to...improve. It's totally a thing. Quite a few authors use it for success.

"Me? Safe with you?" I say, pointing a finger at myself then him. "If anything, I should feel at risk with only you here."

Don't think that I've forgotten that my face has been a target for soccer balls, basketballs, tennis balls-fine, everything for-my entire existence.

He laughs. "Really? If we're talking about safety, I should be the one who's afraid! I'm just lucky that you haven't tried to bruise this enthralling, handsome face of mine." he brags, batting his eyelashes.

"Well I think that your luck might be running out in 3-," I crack my knuckles on my hands. "-2," I crack my neck.

"Ugh! Stop with that cracking! That's disgusting!" he whines like a little child that's witnessed a spider for the first time, as he places his hands over his ears. I almost chuckle. I always knew that it was one of his pet peeves. Funny, I must be one of the only people to know what makes him tick.

He rolls his eyes and shoves me aside, causing me to step on the grass. I laugh hysterically, clutching my stomach. I catch my breath and go back on the sidewalk.

"Oh [insert swear word here]!" James mutters beneath his breath. His eyes are becoming increasingly worrisome.

I kick his shin without full force. "Swearing is bad!" I yell. Okay, maybe I'm tempted to swear at times but even in my mind, the words come out ridiculous. Like...fishballs and stuff like that.

"Sorry mother." James responds sarcastically.

That remark earns him a light punch on the shoulder. "What happened?" I ask him, my brows furrowing.

He puts a hand on the back of his neck and sighs. "I just remembered something. The team has practice on Saturday but I have to attend some event or whatever at a banquet hall right after." He looks up at the sky in despair.

"Sucks to be you." I pat him on the shoulder, and he squints at me. "I-I mean...um...you'll be fine?"

Okay. Maybe I'm not the best at reassuring people. What do you want me to say?

When he doesn't respond to my awkwardness, I continue to talk. "Is it about the business?"

"No, of course not. It's an event dedicated to potato farming." he tells me. The sarcasm is strong in this one. "I don't even want to go! My dad just keeps reminding me that I have to take over the business soon, that I have to learn this stuff, that-"