-Supernatural One Shots, Imagines, and Preferences-

Bridge - Dean x reader

It was a hard time for all of us. It hit me the hardest. My love had died in the process of this stupid war we were fighting. And I had to be on clean up patrol that night. I had to take care of the bodies that would otherwise cause suspicion. All because I wasn't able to admit to the boys that Gabriel and I were in love. They were very protective over me, and if Lucifer hadn't killed him, the boys would've.

Dean and Sam were having a rough time because the end was nigh. Not only was it nigh, it was here. The tension was always high, and any day now, everything would blow. Lucifer and Michael tried relentlessly to get the boys to say yes to them. It didn't work, as per usual.

I was crying in my room again, like the baby I am, stressed and tired and still in mourning. I know that I had valid reasons to cry, but the boys didn't realize, so they mock me slightly for my tears whenever I left my room. Resulting in more tears. I've always been a crybaby, so the boys assume I'm having another one of my fits. There's a loud, brash knock at my door.

"(Y/N), hurry up in there. We've gotta move soon. Lucifer has been spotted in another town over, wreaking his usual havoc. We haven't got all day. Tick tock," Dean's voice sounded, a bit annoyed.

"Yeah, sorry," I sniffled, trying to sound normal. I put my hair into two side braids and fixed my now runny makeup. I got dressed into my jean shorts and black tank top. To add some Winchester to the look, I wore a plaid shirt loose over my tank. I think the plaid was actually one of the boys' shirts I had stolen. Oh well? I opened my door and walked outside, hoping my face didn't look too much like I had been crying.

"Ready?" Dean asked, annoyed. I nodded, and Sam shot me a suspicious look. He always noticed little things, so he probably realized I had been crying. I picked up my ready to go duffle from the living room. I had many bags packed around the house for "cases". I actually had hidden them in case I planned to finally leave. I was waiting for a good time, when the boys were really mad at me. Then they wouldn't miss me.

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I screwed up bad on the hunt. I nearly got both Sam and Dean killed since I was so distracted by my own thoughts. An innocent person died because of me. I felt horrible. And when we got back to the hotel, I went straight to my separate room. The boys and I always roomed separately for obvious reasons. I locked myself in my room and cried until Sam stopped knocking on my door. He wanted me to let him in, and that wasn't happening. I didn't want him to yell at me again. When Sam yelled, it dug deeper, since he never usually yelled. It had been an hour. Sam had left by now, giving up on me letting him in, and I could hear him let himself into his hotel room.

That's when I grabbed my bag. I left my cellphone on the bedside table so they couldn't track me, and I crept out the door, shutting it as quietly as possible. And then I took off down the road. I kept running and going until my legs gave out. I collapsed after about three miles, I think. That was far enough of a head start. I nursed my now hurt ankle for a minute, then forced myself back up and limped even farther. Any time I heard a car, I hid behind whatever I could on the side of the road. I didn't want Sam and Dean or anyone else for that matter to find me.

I was too overcome with grief this time. I got someone else killed. I failed Sam and Dean. I needed Gabriel. And there was only one way I was going to get him.
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I had made it to a tall enough bridge on the outskirts of town. I had walked and limped many miles. It had started sprinkling somewhere on my journey, leading to the pouring rain that now fell. My vision was blurred from rain and tears. I couldn't see all the way to the bottom of the drop. I could hear the rush of the river beneath, though. That was all I needed.

I thought back on the one memory with Gabe I would want to live over and over again. It was when he took me for a picnic on our third or fourth date. The field was just so beautiful, and that picnic could have lasted forever and I wouldn't have noticed. That night flew by too quickly.

I climbed up on top of the barrier between me and the icy waters. I was ready to go. I needed this so much. So I pushed myself forward.

But a hand caught my wrist, causing me to jerk backward instead. I fell into a firm figure.

"What the hell are you doing, (Y/N)?!"

Dean.

"Let me go, Dean!"

"No," he shouted. I tried to wriggle out of his grasp, but he pulled me tighter to him. "(Y/N), we lose people on the job all the time. It's okay! You're okay! You can't do this. This is just something you can't take back and I can't let you do this. What's gotten into you?"

"Dean, if you don't let me go here, the second we get back to the bunker, I'm just going to grab a gun, or a knife, or... Who knows?! I just can't take this anymore," I sobbed.

"(Y/N), hunting life is hard, but we get through it–"

"No, Dean," I growled. "You don't fucking understand. Do you know what it's like to lose your soul mate? Your actual fucking soul mate. Do you know the pain I'm feeling right now?"

"(Y/N), what are you talking about?" Dean asked cautiously, not wanting to hurt me any further.

"Gabriel fucking died to help the cause of humanity. And how did I return the favor? I let more people die. It's all my fault."

"You mean–"

"Yes, Dean! Gabriel and I are soul mates. And this pain is unbearable. If I don't end it now, it's just going to keep getting worse. At first, I thought I could handle it, but now..."

"(Y/N), I'm so sorry. I didn't realize..." His grip on me loosened, probably to be more sympathetic, but I took this as my chance. I pushed myself out of his arms and climbed the barricade. I hurled myself off, and I could hear Dean's screams.

And then I was back on the bridge. But Dean was still crying. He was still wearing the bracelet I gave him as a joke that he never took off. And I felt myself drawn to it. But then I heard another voice.

"(Y/N), it's time to go. Gabriel is waiting." The voice was so familiar. I must have met this reaper before.

"But Gabriel is gone."

"Your memories keep him alive in your heaven."

"Will Dean be okay?" I asked, concerned.

"He and his brother will both live on. You need to let go of them. Or else you will become what they spend their lives trying to kill."

"Okay," I agreed hesitantly, following where the reaper led me. And believe it or not, there was that field. That patch of lilacs and daffodils on the bright, sunny summer day. And there he was, waiting for me, using the same corny line every time.

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