I Do What I Want (Drarry)

The Ache of Longing

Authors Notes:  As you might have guessed from the title, this chapter will not be how you thought it would go. I warn you that this is a major chapter for my story line and to prepare yourself. Despite the way it turns out, I still hope you enjoy it.

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             Harry was pacing up and down in front of the fireplace repeatedly. His emotions were a mess. He knew that he should probably try shielding them from Draco but he couldn't. Draco had business to do at the Ministry and Harry didn't want to step foot into that hell hole unless absolutely required. So he had stayed home, he was beginning to regret that decision. Without Draco here to distract him, his mind began playing scenario after scenario of the disaster they were supposed to attend tonight.

            The burrow. That used to make him happy to hear when he was younger but now all it did was fill him up with a queasy stomach. He didn't want to go to the burrow. He didn't want to see Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, he didn't want to see Ron, Hermione nor Ginny. The thought of them filled with him with despair but also gut wrenching anger. How could they have cut him off like that. He had been a part of their family since the summer before second year. Harry had never been a part of something like that before. The Dursley's could never be considered a family by anyone's perspective. So when they welcomed him in with open arms it had been a surreal experience. Something he had treasured.

            But now... he was just done. So much has happened in his life and he only wanted people in his life who actually wanted to be there. He wanted people who could accept every part of him, respect his decisions whether they agreed with them or not. He may not have had a family before but he knew damn well that the way they had treated him was not a family. They accepted him only as long as he did what they wanted. Family doesn't do that.

            No matter how it happened the Malfoy's took him in as a part of their family. They weren't a typical family. The love they held for each other was like a secret. They didn't show it but Harry could see it in their eyes and their movements. Silly purebloods. It didn't matter that Lucius could be a right bastard and believed that muggleborns were the bugs of the world, because political beliefs held no value when it came to the love he held for his family. It didn't matter that Narcissa could be frigid or cold, because she so obviously cared for her husband and son. It didn't matter that Draco could be stuck up or emotionless towards everyone else, because he showed his loved ones the real him. Despite everything wrong that the rest of the world sees when they look at the Malfoy family, Harry sees the real them. The Malfoys may not be pure or even nice people but they are so much more than meets the eye.

            Draco was the first one to allow Harry in. He gave Harry the gift of himself and Harry isn't sure that Draco realizes how precious of a gift that is. Draco let down the walls and misconceptions he held and allowed Harry to see the real him. Draco became vulnerable and fragile that night in the quidditch pitch. He had been nervous and unsure of himself as he sat there and poured his soul out to Harry, looking back Harry was amazed at the bravery. It would have been brave of him to say all that even to Pansy and Blaise let alone his rival. That show of courage had made it possible for Harry to return the favor. That night had changed everything Harry was made to believe when it came to Draco Malfoy. He had never felt so connected with someone before.

            Harry had been worried about Draco's parents. He had only seen Narcissa three times before the woman was saving his life. Each time had not been pleasant. Harry hadn't given her much thought. She was stuck up and always had the most unpleasant expression on her face. He had been positive that there was nothing charming about the woman. But he had been so wrong. She had saved his life. To some people that might not be something amazing. Most everyone on the light side would have done the same thing. To save him would have been second nature, so they don't see what she did as something miraculous. But Harry knew better. Narcissa wasn't on the light side of the war. She had no obligation or reason to save Harry. She could have easily told Voldemort that he was still alive. Her sister would have in a heartbeat. Along with every other deatheater there. They wouldn't have thought twice about doing so.