A wonderful kind of misery

Chapter 11

She was consumed with guilt by neglecting Viv so she spent the evening in her room trying to bring to her mind's eye the form of a girl once so familiar Alex could conjure her in her sleep. She had told her mum she was studying so she wouldn't be interrupted, but instead of opening her history book in dread of her upcoming exam, the girl lied on Viv's lap.

"Alex..." spoke the imaginary girl while stroking blonde strands of hair. Alex murmured something like yeah urging the girl to continue.

"You'd always been asking me if I would stay with you forever. And you know I will." She sighed "But what about you?"

The girl stopped brushing Alex's hair as the latter sat up. Her words landed like a bomb between them, as something they both expected but didn't want to admit.

"You're the one who has the power to create me, bring me to life...If it's life what I'm living anyways..." she murmured and lowered her head, now twisting a piece of yarn from her woolen sweater around her finger.

"I'm fully aware that I'm a fragment of imagination and that I will die the moment you forget about me. What if a day comes that you won't need me anymore?" she finished and Alex knew Viv was nervous. She would always rub her fingers and palms together when she was upset. Alex did that too.

Alex had rarely seen her friend this anxious or sad. She would go along with Alex's mood, yes, but even in her darkest days, Viv's presence was there to offer comfort, not add to her problems. Her eyes darted at her friend as she began

"Oh God..." but she couldn't bring herself to form the right words.

Was this a sign? Was this a way of her brain telling her that she didn't need her imaginary friend anymore? It was true, Alex had been too distracted by school and the Ophelia that had forgotten about her only friend. But what if it was all a clue. A message saying that Alex could do without her, that maybe she was getting better and hopeful times lied ahead?

"I would...never do that." she managed to say "Viv, I could never, forget you" she emphasised the word never. "I need you, we're meant to be." she smirked and hit her in the shoulder playfully.

"That's right." The slouching girl grinned and for the first time it was her who had a sad face and Alex who was smiling, even if it was a forced smile stretching her face.

Alex knew the girl was right. Eventually she would forget about her. She would, hopefully, grow old and make a family that no imaginary friend had place in.

She couldn't do that. She wanted to need Viv, she wanted to have her in her life. She realised, she couldn't let her slip away, no matter how much Alex would change, Viv was a part of her childhood, a reminder that she was real and had had a past. She couldn't bear the thought of losing that part. So they hugged and when Viv smile, Alex was happy...

But with a doubt.