Gasoline | Ben Parish

38

THERE'S a difference between watching someone die from your own hand and watching someone die from your own decision. 

Many people have died because of me. But none of them affect me the way Kenny has.

Once he's gone, Dumbo covers his face with the blood-soaked rag. Teacup's head drops onto Zombie's shoulder. She doesn't cry loudly. She just closes her eyes and lets the silent tears roll.

Zombie takes her into his arms, resting his head on top of hers. He lets her sit in his lap, keeping her close to his chest.

Flintstone has found the balls to approach us once again. "All right, Sarge." He spits the name sarcastically. "What now, Sarge?"

My temper has reached a boiling point. I'm angry at the aliens. I'm angry at myself. And now, I'm angry at Flintstone, and it's all too much.

"Back the fuck off!" I'm on my feet in less than two seconds and in his face in less than one. "Back your piece of shit ass up! Shut your bitching trap for one goddamn minute, or I swear to God, I will fuck you up."

Ringer is by my side in an instant, arm between the two of us. "Croak," she says steadily.

I shove her aside. "Don't." I turn to him. "We just lost a man, Flintstone. So get your head out of your ass."

"That's my point!" He growls. "We lost someone because of his shitty orders!"

"It wasn't Zombie's fault, you thick-headed fuck! It was mine!" My chest is heaving as I make the declaration.

Everyone is silent.

Then Dumbo speaks up. "What are you talking about, Croak?"

My entire form is shaking. I'm feeling so much: guilt, sadness, rage. "He and Teacup waited for me," I explain. "I'm the reason he was near the blast."

"No," he assures me. "He made the decision to stray from the plan. He's the reason he was near the blast."

"It was Zombie's plan, though." Flintstone's beady eyes dart across the room to my sergeant. "So, ultimately, it is his fault."

"You're wrong." I raise my chin. "And if you were half the man you pretend to be, you'd stop being a jealous prick and do something useful."

Flintstone scoffs. "His dick game must be pretty fucking good if he's got you so loyal."

My hand is flying out before Ringer can stop me. It connects with Flintstone's nose in a burst of blood. He's stumbling back, hands on his nose. Dumbo's letting out an exclamation of "Fuck!" and Ringer is stepping between us, trying to shove me back across the parking garage.

"Get off!" I yell, pushing at her hands. "I'm going to fucking kill him!"

I'm seeing red. I don't know if I have blood in my eyes or if I am finally going Dorothy. What a hell of a time to lose it, too.

I'm vaguely aware of Zombie and Dumbo sprinting to Flint, struggling to keep him away from me. Poundcake and Teacup have come to assist Ringer in getting me to chill.

"Guys!" Zombie shouts. "Listen, that Ted knows we're in here! We don't have time for this bullshit."

He's right. I know he's right, but I'm also so damn mad.

"His friends are probably already on their way," Ringer points out. "If we're going to do something, then we need to do it now."

Suddenly Oompa's body explodes. Teacup lets out a startled scream. We all drop to the floor, expecting more gunfire.