A Bride for 100 Days

twenty-four: Imma gonna lose it now. In Starbucks.

We walked to Starbucks.

Starbucks.

For real. 

Thankfully, Finn didn't seem to be on shift. We took a couple of chairs in the corner under the air conditioning vent, sipped iced coffees and acted awkward for a few moments.

"I'm not dating Kyra," Jeb finally told me.

"Does she know that?"

"Yes. So whatever else you two discussed, I just want to make sure we are clear on this. No bullshit."

"Did she know you asked me out?"

"That was none of her business."

"Ah. Are you dating me?"

"We went on a date," he lifted his eyebrows. "I'd like to go on another..."

I was gripping my cup so hard that the plastic bent and some coffee spurted out on my skirt. I jumped up, "Shit!"

Jeb grabbed some napkins and I wiped myself down. The splotches were obvious on the denim. Jeb helplessly tied to dab at the liquid on the table and my sandals and I practically kicked him away. 

"Don't!" I shouted.

Everyone stopped and looked at me. I nervously smiled and sat back down. Couldn't make a scene. 

"It's just a little coffee," Jeb sighed. "No big deal."

"Oh. My. God. You have the nerve!" Naomi approached us, her lips curved in a smirk. "Did you spill? How awful." She lifted her phone. 

Fuck the scene. I can make ALL THE SCENE. "Sir?!" I waved to the guy in the tie behind the counter. "SIR!?"

He approached. "Yes?"

"Are you the supervisor or manager?"

"Manager. Yes, I am. Is there a problem?"

"I would like not to be photographed or video'd by this woman," I pointed at Naomi. 

"Miss," he turned to her. "I'll have to ask you to stop taking pictures of our customer."

"Thank you," I turned back to Naomi and held up my phone. "Now, you've been told to stop by an employee which means you must stop. If you so much as focus on me, I will call the police. This has become harassment. I do not know what the hell your deal is but I am over it. Are we clear? So back off, back down, and get the fuck away from me or you will find your whole pretty little world informed that there's a protection order against you for being an obnoxious stalker."

"You wouldn't..."

"WATCH. ME. Do you have ANY idea how many lawyers my father has on salary? Just because I lived under the radar, sweetie, doesn't mean I don't have resources. Last warning."

Naomi clenched her jaw and shot a nervous glance at the manager, Jeb and then back to me. "Fine! But see if I come back to the Starbucks ever again!" She stormed out.

"Thank you again," I threw the Starbucks guy one of my largest smiles. "I appreciate your understanding."

"You let us know if there's any more trouble," he nodded and went back to the counter.

Jeb cocked his head and smiled. "Well done."

"Oh, I'm not finished," I sat down, careful of my bruises. "This shit with you is driving me crazy, Jeb. We married under the expectation that we were helping each other out of extreme pressure. But I fell for you."

Jeb opened his mouth in shock. 

"I don't know if it's the adrenaline or what. I don't care. I'm gonna say this. From the time that Lonnie took me until the moment I heard your voice, I was terrified. Especially in that moment when it looked like he was gonna rape me...but then you were there, calling for your wife and that was ME and suddenly I was OK."

He nodded, his eyes intensely blue. 

"I have never been in love before. Not really. I had a crush on Finn but I've realized just how shallow that was," I could feel myself blush and patted my cheeks. "I think I am in love with you. I think I am 22 years old and irrevocably in love with the guy I married. And I know all your reasons for taking it slow and all. I get that we have Levi and families and everything. But after being stalked, disbelieved, shamed, graduated, alone, kidnapped, and assaulted? The one thing that has been steady for me has been how much I trust you. From the start. And I don't trust anyone, Jeb. So I need for us to figure this out before I lose my shit even worse and Starbucks 86's me for life."

"Oh. Uh..." Jeb sat back and exhaled, dragging his hands through his hair. I noticed that he was still wearing his ring.

My heart dropped to my stomach. 

"Alice, you know I like you. But I have to prioritize Levi, you know that, too."

"I do. But..."

"It's my turn, right? Alice, I'm a planner. I have been my whole life. Taking on Levi took months of consideration. If his grandmother hadn't gotten sick, I had a 6-month goal of bringing him home. Adopting a child should take that much intention. And so should marriage! Proposing to you after 3 hours? Marco practically led an intervention."

I bit my lip. Whatever I'd hoped he would say...he wasn't saying it. 

"If we're meant to be together..if this is real...then it will need time. Time for us to date. Time for us to build something lasting. Time for us to get far enough away from all this drama to be sure."

I turned and looked out the window so he wouldn't see me cry.

"Alice, I can't trust my feelings right now. I found you in the back of an ambulance yesterday and...it almost killed me. But you know, my mother jumped from marriage to marriage without ever checking if she was compatible with the guy. And so did your dad, from the sounds of it. We need to pay attention to those examples. We need to stick to the plan. And if, in six months or a year, we're sure that..."

I grabbed my purse and shot out the door.

Jeb followed, jogging.

"Don't," I held up my hand for him not to follow. 

"Alice, just because..."

"Stop! Just, stop," I ordered. "You know what a woman wants to hear when she say 'I love you' for the first time? That you love me, too. Not an Excel spreadsheet, OK? I want to know you feel for me. I want to know that you rushing to my side yesterday was real. And if you can't give me that, then back away. Let me deal."

"It's not about that! I was out of my mind in that moment..."

"I need a break."

"Of course! Yesterday..."

"From you," I clarified. 

He took a step back from me and nodded. "Oh."

"Oh," I agreed.

And then I turned and walked away.