If You Let Me

Chapter 33

"You were such a surprise
An unexpected gift
Said I was pretty, and I believed it
Not really used to all this attention
Told myself I don't deserve you
And this is just a phase
Could I get used to, being loved the right way?I wanna argue, but there is nothing to say"

I Think I'm Ready - Katy Perry

Janae

I sat at orientation for the ER clinical half awake, half asleep. This was my first Friday on the job and I didn't even have the energy. I took a sip of my latte and tried to take notes. I was in between studying for exams, going to to clinical and working. I was beyond exhausted this week, I was staying with Mama because I had to be at school at the crack of dawn and didn't want to travel from the Bronx.

They finally dismissed our orientation and handed us our individual schedules. I walked back to our lockers and grabbed my stuff. I sighed as I walked out and bumped in Dr. Wang.

"Oh I'm sorry Janae" he stopped to apologized.

"No it was fault, I wasn't paying attention"

"You look like you had a rough day" he chuckled.

"Boy did I" I shook my head.

"How was orientation?"

"It was good, a lot more than any other area of the hospital"

"That's for sure, but I think you'll do fine" he patted my shoulder and smiled.

"Have a good night" I smiled and waved goodbye.

I wanted nothing more to get to Mama's and knock out, I had no desire to go out and see any one. I looked and felt like shit. I walked outside the hospital and my phone rang. It was Dave, I sighed deeply and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, you just got out the hospital?"

"Yessir"

"You good?"

"Yeah just tired"

"You want me to come get you?"

"No that's fine, I'm already on my way out"

"Should have texted me girl"

"I had a long ass day Dave, I haven't spoken to a soul" I sighed.

"Okay, you want me to bring you anything? I'm at the studio"

"No I'm good, be safe. I'll talk to you tomorrow"

I hung up the phone, I wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone, let alone Dave. We haven't really seen each other since that Saturday I woke up at his apartment. I had no idea where I stood with him and we had passed second base in our own way. I don't really know what has gotten into me, but I couldn't help myself around him. I guess trusting him with my body that one night and him accepting I was a virgin just made him even more attracted to me. I knew I didn't owe him anything or had to make it up to him, but I wanted him to feel just as good as he made me feel.

But this week was not the week for me, for me or him to swap spit or eating breakfast, lunch and dinner. I arrived at Mama's house and it was empty, she must have been out with her friends. I went to the kitchen and saw she had cooked, I walked over to the stove and prepared to take out some food, when I heard a knock at the door. I rolled my eyes, because I knew it wasn't Mama.

I walked over to the door and checked the peep hole and saw it was Lisa, I opened the door and stood in the door frame with a smile.

"Oh I knew you were hiding out here hoe" she smiled.