Chapter 9

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Like always, if things were going too well, there was bound to be a glitch. That was exactly what happened but for me, it was in the form of a six foot two, green eyed boy. The problem arose when I received an email from him a week before Christmas.

Things were pretty serious between us... We had pet names for each other now.

Hey baby,

It's a week before Christmas, and here I am missing you even more. I think it's time I told you how I really feel. I LOVE YOU SARAH LYNN BAKER.

My heart stopped at that line. I couldn't bear to continue reading it further.

"Jon.." I sniffled into the phone.

"What's wrong Kat?" he said concernedly.

"He loves me.. I mean he loves her. It's so messed up. I feel so sick right now." I bawled.

"Ok. You just need to calm down for a second--" he was just greeted with more of my crying.

"Kat. Kat. I will be there as soon as my class is over, which is in about 2 hours. Please hold on till then ok? Promise me you won't do anything irrational."

When he was greeted by my silence he said louder "KAT can you hear me?"

"Yea, ok. Ok." I said quietly.

Once I got off the phone, I braced myself to read the rest of the e-mail.

--- I know it may seem too soon for me to even say that. But it is true. I can start listing down the numerous reasons why. But mainly, it's because you never gave up on me. You've been here for me when I was down. You stuck with me.

He went on and on about how we had so much in common. How, he's never met anyone who had so much in common. My eyes blurred again from the tears forming. I walked out of my room and to the kitchen. Thankfully nana was out with her new friends from yoga class.

I opened our wine chiller and grabbed a bottle. Not even bothering to take a glass, I opened the bottle and took a swig out of it. Heck, it was 5 in the evening somewhere in the world right? Never would I have thought that I would be using that stupid line.

Before I knew it, half the bottle of wine was already gone. Instead of feeling sad, I felt... brave? Empowered? More like didn't give a fuck.

Grabbing the computer, I hit the reply button.

I am not who you think I am. Did you really think someone like Sarah would wait for you? She asked me to reply you. I shouldn't have done it. But what other choice did I have? You didn't have anyone to talk to. I understood that you needed someone. What I feel for you is real. You may not love me anymore after this. But so what. I fucking give up. This has finally taken a toll on me Talen. I am sorry. I fucking love you too. Have you not noticed how I don't talk about what my goals and dreams are – I mean Sarah's goals and dreams? You have got to be silly to think Sarah cares. I've yearned for a love so deep for the longest time. I've yearned for my person and I feel like while I do feel you are him, you truly don't know who I am. I will forever be your friend Talen, but right now I think I need to go.

Suddenly, everything went black.


"Kat! KAT!" someone was shouting. Two someones?

"Katherina wake up." the softer voice said.

Cracking open my eyes, I saw my grandmother looking at me with sympathy, and Jon looking at me like I had a second head.

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