Phoenix

Twins

Her brother was waiting for her when she got back to her dormitory, sitting on the floor next to her bed, back pressed against the side of her mattress, picking his cuticles. In the light of the dimmed halogens, he was nothing but a mop of shiny black hair, set atop a tall, lanky frame.

"Jai? What are you doing here?" she whispered, careful not to wake her sleeping dorm mates.

Six girls, all about her age, were already cocooned in their bunks, shoulders convexed in a way that said they didn't want to be disturbed. In the corner, Evelyn was at it again with the boy from Dormitory 5, and judging from the way the sheets were gyrating, they were doing a lot more than just 'hugging'. It took all of Ash's willpower not to rip off their sheets and scatter them. Idiots. If Evelyn were to get pregnant, her child would be taken by the same system that took her. But that's what happened when strawberry blonde hair connected to a cotton candy brain.

Jai looked up, face catching the light. It was a talent he'd been born with, the ability to find the light in any room, no matter how dark. His eyes were two pools of brown, feathered with thick lashes, and although he'd tried to smudge his cheeks with dirt to disguise his good looks, the symmetry of his jaw and the high arcs of his cheekbones were undeniable.

"Are you okay? I was worried," he said.

Ash sat down next to him and felt the knobbly point of his elbow against her upper arm. "I'm fine. Nothing to worry about."

Jai looked down. "When you didn't make it back for Count, I thought—" He choked on his words. "—and then they said you were in the sick bay, I thought—" He choked again. "What happened?"

She closed her eyes as the horror of what had happened in that alley whelmed. Then, much to her surprise, the cloaked man's mercury gaze rose from the horror and steadied her. She took a deep breath and faced Jai. "I didn't drink enough water," she said, squaring her shoulders. "That's all. I passed out at the gate and they took me inside and put me on a drip. Stupid really."

She didn't want to lie to Jai, but she knew she had to. Jai could forgive her for almost anything. But this? He'd always tried to stop her from fighting, no matter how much her opponent deserved it. What if he turned his back in shame or disappointment? What if she lost him? She couldn't lose him. In some ways, she needed him more than he needed her.

Jai's eyes swept her face, looking for signs of harm. "Are you sure that's all it was?"

She nodded.

He went back to picking his cuticles, shoulders relaxing ever so slightly. After a moment he said, "Did you hear about our Release Day?"

She nodded.

He sucked his bottom lip. "And you're not worried?"

"No," she lied again. "Are you?"

Jai stooped his head lower. "I'm scared."

Ash stifled the urge to stuff her fingers in her ears. She hated the word 'scared'. Hated it with all her being. To admit to being scared was to admit to weakness. And weakness was a pole with a white flag attached.

"Don't be an idiot. What are you scared about?"

Jai groaned and dropped his head in his hands. "It's okay for you. You'll be fine on your own. But I'm got no chance of being recruited and I'm certainly not cut out for the street." His words were muffled by his long, delicate fingers.

He was right. The factory recruiters would take one look at his waif body and laugh. And the street? He wouldn't last a day without her. But she'd be able to take care of him.

"Everything will be fine," she said, unsure who she was trying to convince. "I'll look after you. We'll stick together. We'll be fine."

"What if you get recruited and I don't?"

"I'll tell them to piss off."

"Don't be an idiot. If you get recruited, you have to take it."

"I would never."

Jai sighed. "You can't look out for me forever, Ash. You can't protect me from everything. I'll never learn how to look after myself if you keep fighting for me."

She shook her head. The silence stretched out and in it, Ash realised he was right. One day, she'd slip up. One day, she'd let her guard down. One day, she'd make a mistake and lose him. Like the moment she'd forgotten to keep her bag to the concrete wall in the alleyway. A mistake that had led her to—

"Jai... " she began. The guilt was too much. She couldn't lie to him any more than she could stop breathing. She had to tell him what had happened in the alleyway. "There's something I—"

"Shhh!" snapped Malle, a rabbit-toothed girl in the bunk bed opposite them. She'd always been a light sleeper. Any noise past six o'clock and she was the first to hear it. "Stitch your lips or I'll stitch them for you," she said.

Ash growled. "Try it and I'll rip out your throat."

Malle rolled to face her and Ash shot to her feet, ready for a fight. But Jai grabbed her arm and pulled her back down to the ground next to him. "Don't," he said in a controlled voice. "It's not worth it."

That was the Jai she knew. The one who was always trying to quell her rage. Maybe Malle had done her a favour by cutting her off. Maybe her first instinct about Jai was the right one. He wouldn't understand.

The digital clock on the wall flashed 8.55 pm and she nodded towards it. "You'd better go," she said. "Five minutes until lights out."

Jai nodded at the same time that a rather dishevelled looking boy emerged from Evelyn's bed in the corner and tiptoed across the room, giving Jai a thumbs up as he passed. Ash glared him all the way out.

Jai sighed. "Just try not to do anything stupid before tomorrow, okay?"

Ash grunted.

He pushed himself to his feet. "Night, Ash."

"Night."

He touched her shoulder and shuffled towards the door, letting in a shard of bright white light from the corridor as he passed through. Ash stared at the place he'd just been, wondering why his goodnight had sounded so much like a goodbye, then realised that after tomorrow, she might never see her twin brother again.

A wracked gasp escaped her throat, taking her by surprise. She didn't cry. Never cried. Crying was a sign of weakness and she never let her weaknesses show. She swallowed down the tightness in her throat and got into bed, pulling the starchy sheet around her body. She squeezed her eyes shut as a single tear threatened to leak out from under her lid. And there, in the cold darkness of the dorm, the horrors of the day faded into background noise. All that mattered was her brother, and what would happen to him if they were separated at the recruitment tomorrow.

Nine o'clock ticked over and the lights gave one final blink before shuttering to blackness. The locks on the door engaged with aloud clunkand the pacing of the guards resumed as usual, their feet tramping a torturous march around the perimeter of the orphanage. Tonight, their footsteps were a hammer to her chest, threatening to break it open. She lay awake for what felt like hours until finally, her mind slipped with exhaustion.

She slept.

And dreamt.

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Hey guys! Who's our favourite character so far?

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