Spectate

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I sat under an oak tree, on a sunny day that didn't quite feel sunny. Not because I was propped under the shade, but the way I observed it all, like an old film. The one you'd find playing through a projector on a nice night outdoors. The type people would try being romantic for, yeah, that kind of black and white.

People ran through the field tossing a football around, not bothering to spare me a glance every time the ball was accidentally thrown my way. Others, under the shade of another tree, ways away from me, chatting about and playfully pushing each other every time someone made a funny comment. They were lost in a world I'd never belong to.

I guess that's life when you're invisible to everyone but your adversary.

I rummaged through my bag for my notebook and favorite pastel green, mechanical pencil. Today I was writing Taehyung another note. It was something I decided after the first one.

If I couldn't directly tell him my feelings, I could use these notes to communicate to him, though I wish I had the courage to personnally hand them over and see him smile at me as he read it, his eyes skimming the page and giving me the occasional glances to see if I was watching.

He'd smile, but it wasn't directed at me. He'd look up, but only to scan the halls, hoping to find someone that stood out, possibly the one writing to him.

I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't. He could never know all these words were from me.

I was afraid.

The bell rang signaling the end of the fourth period. People hastily gathered and rushed inside. I got up from the ground and checked my pants for grass stains before making my way off the field, tightly holding onto my bag's strap hanging from my shoulder.

My eyes trailed around and stopped when I spotted a familiar figure sitting on the steps. I got closer, noticing it was Taehyung his head hanging low as he seemed to be deep in thought, gaze held on his clasped hands. He didn't look like his usual self.

His usually smiling face had a sad, distant look painted on. What happened to him, I wondered, my eyes not leaving his form until he stood and walked into the school.

~

Tae, you sexy bundle of goodness!! Where's that radiant smile I've been missing so much?

Cheer up buttercup, don't let the bad get you down!

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