Something Between Us ✔

32| Past Between Us

32. Past Between Us

"You can't hate the experiences that shaped you in order to love yourself."

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"I had a perfect family," Brian began, "or so I thought. My dad and mom were college sweethearts. They loved each other so much that I still find it hard to believe that my mom would do something like that. And now, all I feel towards her is hatred," He said and paused.

Hate...that was a strong feeling towards someone. The only person I hated was Jesse.

"My mom is a hot headed woman and I don't know why, but she always hated me. It was later that I got to know that she hated me because she didn't want to have a child with my dad. And before she could abort me, my dad got to know about it and so she couldn't do that."

My eyes widened. Why would she do that? What kind of a mother was she?

"When I was little, like nine or ten years old, I accidentally read one of my mom's texts. A man had texted her asking her to meet her at a hotel. When I checked her other texts, I got to know that she was cheating on my dad with another man. Naturally, I was very furious at her and when I confronted her about that matter, she threatened me to not tell anyone. I didn't know why she was doing that to my dad. She never treated me as her own child, just someone she had to take care of. She never loved me," He paused again, looking away from me and out the window of my room. I had this sudden urge to tell him that I loved him but I thought it was better to keep my mouth shut. 

I slid my hand into his, threading my fingers through his. He gave my hand a light squeeze. I stared at our entwined hands. We were laying on the bed, our backs against the head rest of the bed. He had an arm around me, resting on my shoulder. My head was resting on his chest and I could hear his heart beating faster than usual.

"I kept her secret. I attempted to tell my dad many times, but then to keep my mouth shut about it, she started abusing me. I bore with her abuse, thinking that if I didn't tell my dad about her she would trust me and love me like her son. But that just didn't happen. The abuses, the insults, the beating, I just took it all."

"Why was your mother cheating on your dad? They were college sweethearts, right? Then how could she do that to your dad? How could she do that to you?" I asked, glancing up at his face.

"She fell out of love with my dad. She lost her interest in him. My dad was a complete opposite of her. He was quiet and composed, she was wild; he knew where to draw the limits, she pushed him to extend his limits; he was hard working and dedicated, she just wanted to have a great life without working. Totally opposite. She was with my dad only because he had made a lot of money and her lover didn't."

"I'm so sorry, Brian. Nobody deserves a mother like her."

"It's okay. I don't consider her my mom but still, it sounds nice to call someone mom."

"I wish she wouldn't have done that."

"Me too. But my life turned hellish when my dad got to know about her infidelity. I didn't tell him, I don't know how he got to know about that but as soon as he got to know about it, he confronted her. They had a huge fight and my mom slapped my dad because he accused her of being a heartless cheat, which was actually true. I hate her so much."

He released my hand and began tracing shapes on it.

"My dad wanted a divorce, my mom didn't because dad was her wallet. Without him, she would be on the streets with her lover. But my dad forced her to give him a divorce. When it came to me, dad wanted to have joint custody of me with my mom. But my mom didn't because she didn't want to care for me, but my dad thought it was necessary for me to have a mother in my life. He didn't know that she used to abuse me. But I didn't need one, especially not someone like my mom. After their divorce, everything was fine for a while and I mostly stayed with my dad. My dad began drinking and smoking and sometimes even doing drugs. But one day, my dad returned home from work, drunk out of his senses. He didn't say anything to me, when I was about to help him, he snapped at me. Then he just locked himself up in his room.  I just thought that he needed some time alone, so I let him be. In the morning, he still hadn't left his room, so I called my neighbors after waiting for him for about two or three hours. They broke the door."