Chapter 12: Cleansed with SOPE

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Namjoon stood outside the front entrance to one of the many clothing stores downtown

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Namjoon stood outside the front entrance to one of the many clothing stores downtown. He had a lot on his mind. It had been at least two weeks since Mi-Rae came into his life. The kiss they had shared by the lake had come to an abrupt stop after a mere two seconds.

It was he who had broken it and he immediately became frustrated with himself. He had told Mi-Rae that he was ready to go home and the entire walk home had become awkward with a heavy silence.

Why? Why? Why?!

He was supposed to have enjoyed that kiss! He should have been ecstatic! But no sooner than their lips had connected did the vision of Jin's sensual expression from the night before had flashed before his eyes.

It completely killed any sort of satisfaction he had felt before and instead was replaced with a flooded emotion of guilt and unfulfillment.

That night, after returning home, he had tried to talk to Jin...to apologize. But Jin wasn't having any of it and declared that their relationship would remain strictly platonic from that day forward. Hearing that, had pissed him off and he had stormed into his room without uttering another word.

Namjoon looked to his left and right before pulling out a small pack of cigarettes. If he was honest, he had no right to be mad at that time. It was he who had initiated their rendezvous that night and the very next day, he had tried to push the whole scene aside the moment Mi-Rae came into the picture.

He was such an asshole....

The English teacher slapped the container against the palm of his hand and lifted the lid. Despite how he had acted that day, Mi-Rae continued to come by often. He and Jin were on talking terms but kept their distance from one another, never discussing what had occurred that night.

And yet, Jin still haunted his thoughts and the attraction to the young father was still apparent. Whereas with Mi-Rae, there was simply...nothing.

And this bothered Namjoon a great deal. Had he fallen out of love with his Eunah?! No. It wasn't possible. He couldn't fathom turning away from the woman he had held in his heart for so long. So then, should he take these feelings that he had for Jin and just ignore them? To stuff them back in the very corners of his mind? Was that even possible?!

"Okay, I'm read-Namjoon, are you smoking?"

Namjoon exhaled and lowered the cigarette from his mouth as he turned to Mi-Rae who had left from out of the store, bags in hand. "Yeah, sorry. I know it's a disgusting habit..."

"It's fine. I smoked for awhile myself although the habit didn't last long...just wasn't my cup of tea" She linked her arms with Namjoon's and looked up with a smile.

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