Hawthorne Heights [Editing]

fourteen [edited]

I wish people would stop sharing their feelings with me. My body feels heavy from the weight of their secrets coinciding with my own. I can't act without doing more than necessary and it's eating me up inside. I either think too much or I feel too much and it's getting the best of my mental state. Every single second that I'm alone, I'll think of any little thing that I've done wrong in the past. I'm always struggling with myself and searching for the answers to questions that need to remain unanswered.
My mind is so messed up that I'll often experience false memories and believe that they're real. Milo helps, I guess. She's always around me as a talking shadow and that helps distract me from myself. I'd tell her about Omar but I'm sure she'd run. Only a few more months until I graduate and I'll never see Hawthorne Heights again. I won't miss her.
-Khari

Khari developed the pictures in the darkroom of the photography class. The ceiling slanted towards to left which meant that Khari's head barely grazed it. Mr. Quintero wanted him to retake his photos using a standard camera that required the art to be developed under red lighting. He said something about hard work makes the outcome much more gratifying. Khari just called him crazy.
The clock read four o'clock, which meant that Milo most likely walked back to Hawthorne without him, yet she snuck into the room to his surprise.
Her curly tendrils brushed across his arms every time he leaned over to make sure his photos were developing properly; the light content caused goosebumps to rise on his arms.

She laughed with her head facing the ceiling, causing her hair to pool against her back: "Did you really take only pictures of me? You seem like a creepy stalker, Ree."

"Ree? I'm assuming that that's your nickname for me," he sighed.

"I'm tired of saying your full name because everyone calls you that. I wanna feel special."

Khari glanced over his shoulder to see her serene smile aimed at him. She always managed to make him laugh with a single facial expression; she had that effect on everyone.
His depression seemed to be getting better now that he wasn't able to think about his problems. His mind constantly revolved around Milo.

He cleared his throat quietly before asking, "Can I ask you something?"

"You just did but I'll say sure," she joked, "wait is it bad?"

"Yeah, but it doesn't mess with you personally. I just need to get something off my chest."

She murmured, "Sure, go ahead. Whatever it is I won't judge."

"I just think you're beautiful so I wanted to tell you. I hope I'm not being too weird or anything."

☽