Hawthorne Heights [Editing]

sixteen [edited]

The overwhelming guilt for things that I can't remember suddenly subsided whenever Milo came around. Those crooning voices that once sang my faults in my mind had their mouths sewn shut whenever Milo would smile, and today was no different.

Milo needed a tutor for her French class and who better to teach her than me? My dad was from Senegal, so naturally he taught me one of the languages that he spoke growing up.
-Khari

☽

      "So how do you know French, Khari? Did you take the language when you were younger?" Milo chewed a bag of barbecue chips from Khari's secret snack stash while unpacking her French binder.

   The two occupied her apartment's living room that day since Aunt Cleo was having one of her 'Sisters-Against-Sinning' group meetings. They claimed to have goals that were targeted to stop sexism and racism towards black women: misogynoir. 

   Cleo claimed that her identity held being a black female and that she can't choose to be one at a time. They held private group discussions for the first few weeks until they began holding public seminars for other black women in the area. They mostly just drank wine while listening to Sade but Khari was fine with that because they always brought him homemade lasagna.

   He acknowledged, "My dad was from Senegal so he taught me French at a young age. Now, repeat after me: je suis ce que je suis, et si je suis ce que je suis, qu'est-ce que je suis?"

      "Um, no. All I want to learn how to say is the bagel. Where's your dad now? How come you never talk about him?" Milo urged gently.

   Khari could tell that she was fed up with him being so secretive after spending virtually every day with him, but he considered her impatience a personal problem.

   Khari relented, "He tried to stay in America on some relief claims and he passed his interview and everything to see if his life was really endangered back in Senegal. He even had family in Atlanta, but for some reason, the judge sent him back after he was granted entry. They sent him to a detention center somewhere in California until sending him back to Senegal."

   Milo gnawed on her lip while gauging his facial expressions and body posture. He rarely spoke about his father from a conditioned fear growing up. His grandfather Kojo told him that if he told anyone about his dad's trip back to Senegal then ICE would get everyone else in his family as well. That was his way of telling his grandson not to tell anyone about what goes down inside of their home.

      "I'm really sorry to hear that, Ree. How old were you when it happened?"

      "I was about six," Khari sighed, "I was walking to the corner store with my grandad when all of a sudden my mama drives up screaming that they got him. I didn't know who he was until she told me that my dad was sent to a detention center."