I'm Straight I Swear!? (BoyxBoy)

14- The Course Of Love

Joey’s POV

Apparently Chase goes around kissing guys quite often, because afterwards we just went back to dancing as if nothing ever happened, as if the world didn’t just move beneath my feet. I didn’t necessary mind of course, I mean, he kissed me, he just kissed me, so who I was to expect something more? So I just chose instead to follow his lead, literally, and continue dancing.

But then my heart started to beat again, like really fast, and I became hyper aware of his body against mine, his hand on my waist, his breath on my face, and I realized that I was a fool to think that it was just a kiss.

So I excused myself under the guise of getting a drink, making my way through the heated bodies, lips locked, in the search for something that didn’t make my chest constrict this badly. Because despite popular belief, I have never actually had a boyfriend, gone on a date, and I’ve only ever been kissed twice in my life; Once by Colin, and now by Chase. And I had the unfortunate luck of being stuck in the friend zone with both.

Not that I could really blame Colin for seeing me as only a friend, Hell, until a few days ago he was straight as anything, and we’ve been friends are entire lives. He has always been there for me, and to be honest, I kind of worship the ground he walks on; he’s my hero after all. And for the longest time I had thought that I loved him, and I do, but as a friend. I just happened to confuse that love for admiration, infatuation, and a touch of obsession. He was my every thought, his name carried on each of my breaths, he was every dream and every nightmare, basically; he was everything to me. I quite literally depended on him, and in the process I’ve become too attached, and only now have I begun to disentangle myself.

Speaking of the Devil...

“You okay?” I asked hesitantly, his back was to me, but I could see his shoulders shaking, the muscles in his back coiled.

“Fine” he whispered back, and that’s when I knew: he had been crying.

Colin always did this thing when he was trying not to cry, where he would talk real quiet, because as soon as he spoke louder his voice would break and the tears would spill uncontrollably.  Whenever he cried the tears would just flow, and keep flowing, it was nearly impossible to make them stop, which was why he often held them back.

“Liar” I said “You going to tell me what’s wrong?” I could hear him sigh before turning around. His eyes were rimmed in red and there was no light inside of them. They were dead.

“I told Mason I loved him”

“And?”

“...and what? It’s not like he’s going to ever love me back!” He screamed, his voice was shaking...and then before I knew it, the tears started to fall.

“You don’t know that” I said softly “I mean, sure he might not love you back right away, but that doesn’t mean he never will, it might take a week, a month, or even a year, but there will come a day in which you will hear him say I love you too”

“What makes you so sure of that? I killed his boyfriend Joey; I doubt he’s going to forget that anytime soon”

“He doesn’t have to forget, he just needs to forgive, and I think part of him already has” I reassured, but still the tears fell, and I realized that nothing I said would be able to make them stop. “I’ll be right back”

I left, running back through the throbbing bodies of people I didn’t know, my head whipping back and forth looking for a single familiar face. It was strange to think how one guy could completely destroy the strongest person I know. I honestly didn’t think it was possible, but it seems that Colin has actually managed to fall in love.

“Hey, where’d you run off to? I’ve been looking for you” Chase called, grabbing my arm, but I shook him off.