Losing Kim Taehyung

thirty-five

"I hate you so much
but even now I'm thinking of you"

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My eyes were locked at the rearview mirror for so long, I forgot to blink at all. Whenever I blinked, I could already feel my eyes aching and tearing up. My hands were held together, stopping myself from trembling. I tried so hard to keep myself away from my disturbing thoughts as I counted all the light posts whenever the cab would drove pass them.

The cab was dark inside and I could barely see the driver and Yoongi who is currently sitting next to me here in the backseat. I laid my eyes at the boy who's wearing pink pajamas and shirt next to me as his eyes were locked through the cab window. Only the lights from the street lights illuminate at Yoongi whenever the cab drove pass by them. As much as I want to tease Yoongi about wearing pink, my mind wouldn't just allow me. My thoughts were corrupted by all the things Yoongi told me earlier:

"Jeon Jungkook is exactly the reason why I hated that Kim Taehyung of yours." He blurted out. His voice almost turning to a whisper and even gritting his teeth, saying those words. My eyes followed his hand laying beside him to see it turning into a clenched fist, signifying of how badly he is containing himself not to get mad as he reminisced the past. "Have Taehyung told you he is adopted?" He asked. I pressed my lips together, and nodded my head as answer. "Then, have he already told you Jungkook is his brother?" This time, Yoongi's eyes landed on me and so did mine. Our gazes met, but they were different gazes. Mine was filled with fear while Yoongi was filled with displeasure. I didn't answer his questions, and just listened intently to what he would say more. "They were not really biological brothers, but you know what I mean. Jungkook was a lot different from Taehyung, and if Taehyung was the optimistic and extroverted one, Jungkook was the opposite. But nonetheless, they became brothers and best friends."

So, they knew each other? And Taehyung knew I know Jungkook. He saw the painting hanging on my wall. How come he didn't say anything? He could have said something. . . Those were the thoughts running through my head as Yoongi tell me more.

"I met Jungkook through Taehyung way back in 5th grade, and Jungkook was probably in 3rd grade that time. We used to hang out in their place a lot, so we got the chance to meet the younger boy. Jungkook was really awkward at first, but by the time we hang out more, he began opening up to us and before we knew it, we were all close friends." He smiled, remembering it all, but then he stopped and in a split second, his radiant smile turned into thin-lipped displeasure. "Everything was going well, until Solji moved with us in the first year of middle school. Solji has always been a troublemaker since she was younger. That's why her parents have given up on her, and decided to give her away to my parents to deal with her. And so my parents did. They started supporting her financially and emotionally like real parents should. And you know, I actually didn't hate her at first even if she would always cut classes, flirt with random guys, drink beers secretly and even tried smoking. I tried understanding her attitude, so I invited her to our small group of friends—Me, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook. So she could at least have some decent friends, but then everything started falling apart ever since she arrived." He paused, taking a deep breath. "Taehyung started liking her soon enough, and the boy was just head-over-heels in love with her. . . That he was willing to do everything Solji tells her. He was that dumb." His attention shifted to me as he said the last sentence firmly. "Suddenly, those two have their own world and Taehyung was starting to became distant from us. They became inseparable, but despite of them being together, Solji didn't have any plans on loving Taehyung back. She kind'a just used him, I guess. And because of this—because Taehyung was starting to became distant from us, Jungkook blamed everything to Solji. Taehyung was his best friend, and seeing his best friend hanging out with a bad bitch made him worry as hell. The worst was those two got into a fight because of that bitch. They fought hard and even made a bet until one had to lose a life."