Breathless • Malec

xxii. Magnus

Look, I know it's been over a month since the last update, but I hope I haven't lost you guys yet. Since school's over, I'll have way more time to write and make sure I update WAY more often. So, if you're still reading this, thank you for sticking through! I truly appreciate you :) Also, I decided to enter this into the Wattys, so if you enjoy this story, please vote, comment and share this story! I ❤ you all!

xxii. Magnus

I stormed up the steps to Alec's apartment, slightly out of breath. Apparently, sitting on the couch moping did not improve my stamina in any way. Without stopping, I stomped towards the door, pounding my fists on it.

"Alec," I said loudly. "Alec, I need to talk to you." I waited for a response. After a few seconds, there was still nothing.

"Alec," I said, breaking slightly. "Please."

I waited. After five minutes had passed, I figured that he wasn't going to open the door. There was, granted, a chance that he was out, but it was a Thursday night and I knew Alec. His social life was a bit, well, sadder than mine. It wasn't his fault, though. He was a socially awkward introvert. Basically the opposite version of myself.

Which was so odd, considering the fact that we both found solace in each other.

Well, until now. Until I screwed everything up. Hey, I suppose that was my specialty.

I took in a deep breath, trying to figure out what to do next, I ran my hands through my hair. I looked around, praying that Alec would appear. Another part of me wished that I was back home, laying on my couch and pretending the past week had never happened.

I always held in my feelings. After my parents had disowned me for being bisexual, I felt like no one could ever love me, let alone someone like Alexander Lightwood.

My heart hurt. My head hurt. Everything hurt without Alec.

Then the door opened.

"Jesus," an exasperated voice said. "How long have you been standing there?" Jace ran his hand through his long golden hair as he glared at me.

"Jace," I said, smiling. "Is Alec here?"

"No." Jace grimaced, crossing his arms. "And even if he were here, I wouldn't let you talk to him anyways, asshole."

"Can I just explain myself, please?" I asked him. "I need to apologize to Alec. I just... I just need him in my life, Jace. So badly." I sighed, folding my hands together. "If you've ever loved anyone and had to leave them, please, you know how I feel right now."

He didn't say anything to me, just stared at me, his golden eyes glinting with anger.

"Had to leave him?" he asked me, slowly and coldly. "Magnus, Alec is my best friends and I have only seen him this upset once when his brother died." Jace's face hardened as he mentioned Max.

"So, as much as I hate you, I hate seeing Alec upset even more. So, I guess I will give you one chance to explain yourself and beg for my help."

I let out air that I didn't even know that I was holding in. "Thank you, Jace," I said as he let me into the dorm. "Thank you so much."

Jace pointed at the small, dinky metal kitchen table. "That's enough groveling, for now, Magnus. We can continue that part later. You said you would explain yourself, and here we are."

"Right," I agreed. "Look, Alec told me he kissed you-"

Jace let out a loud laugh. "Wait, are you serious?" he said. "That's why you're mad? It was my idea, not his, Magnus. I'm straight."

"Oh, believe me, I knew that," I said, looking him up and down. "But no, that's not why. Alec was in love with you most of the time while I was dating him. It caused so many problems, and then when he told me that you two kissed, I guess I just lost it. If I had just listened to what he was trying to say next, we wouldn't even be in this situation."

"Okay," Jace said. "So now we've established that you guys would be fine if you just weren't an arrogant, stubborn asshole?"

I looked down at the table, crossing my arms. "I guess I can't deny that."

"Alec said he saw you hooking up with one of your ex's. How do you 'explain' that?"

I shook my head. "Look, Jace, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I'm rich and have power. Have you ever had a crazy ex who wouldn't leave you alone? Multiply that crazy ex by ten and that's how Camille is. I have no feelings for her, trust me."

Jace shrugged, leaning back casually. "You still should have told Alec about her, man."

"I know," I sighed. "It was stupid of me not to."

"Yup," Jace said, popping the P. "So, what's your plan to fix all this?"

I leaned back too, leaving my left forearm on the table. "I was going to come here and talk to Alec. You know, apologize and tell him how stupid that I am." I stopped. "It sounds like I'm saying that getting him back will be easy, but I think it'll be the hardest thing I've ever done. I love him, Jace. I can't be without him."

"As cliche as you sound right now, I think I believe you," Jace smirked.

I let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you," I smiled gratefully. "Where is Alec anyway-"

Laughter sounded from outside the door. Alec's laugh.

I glanced at Jace, confused and unsure of what to do. He just gave me the same confused look back.

"Alec, we're gonna miss our reservations," another voice said.

"Don't worry Clarkson," I heard Alec respond. "I just have to grab my coat. Hopefully, my roommate is gone."

The door opened and revealed Alec standing next to an extremely tall, handsome man. He had short, curly blond hair and thick black glasses that I could tell were obviously fake.

Alec's face dropped as he looked from a very confused Jace to me. He stared, and I could sense a brokenness in him. The same brokenness that was in me.

"Oh." He awkwardly looked down, his cheeks turning red. "Uh, hey," he said as nodded from Jace to me. He walked across the room to his bed and pulled his dark black coat from off his bedpost.

Clarkson leaned against the doorway, staring at me. I narrowed my eyes towards him.

"Jace, this is Clarkson," he said and Jace gave him a small polite wave. "My date," he added, looking right at me. My heart dropped and I felt like all the oxygen was suddenly pulled out of the room.

"I, uh, guess I'll see you later," Alec said as he walked towards the door. Just as he was closing it, he looked over one last time at me. His eyes stayed on me for a few seconds, then Clarkson grabbed his hand, pulling him down the hallway.

Maybe it was too late for us.

Maybe Alec and I were just never meant to be.