Shattered (Continuation of: The Chase) ▹ Ashton Irwin

Chapter One

It's the most warmth I've felt in a while. From all the times I've woken up next to this boy...for some reason, this time felt extra special. My heavy eyelids slowly opened, blinking a few times to fully focus them out. I was facing the crackly white wall of the motel, my head resting against the surprisingly soft pillows. I opened my mouth to take in a breath, and I slowly exhaled with a smile, shutting my eyes once again. I opened them up once again, as I felt a strong arm tighten it's grip around me. I shifted onto my back, and looked over.

Ashton layed there next to me, with his top arm draped over me and half his face burried into the pillow. His eyes were gently shut, his mouth was open, sucking in air with a soft and adorable snore as the result. His messy brown hair was pushed up his forehead, and his eyebrows were furrowed together as he seemed to unconsciously think about the many things he always thinks about. I brought my arm up, ruffling my hand through his hair and running it down his neck and onto his back. I traced a couple cirlces with my fingertips, then repeated the process over and over again. As I did so, his lips would curl into a little smile, nuzzling his face further into the pillow and bringing his arm more tightly around me. Just like every other morning, he looked perfect.

I scooted a little closer to him, lifting his heavy arm up to give me more access to cuddle into his chest, my favorite thing in the entire world to cuddle into. I burried my face as much as I could into him, shutting my eyes once again and taking a deep breath. The faint scent of laundry detergent, cheap cologne, and just Ashton filled my nose, causing me to exhale with a tired smile on my face. I wondered what time it was, but by the amount of natural light that came into the room through the window, I could tell it was at least noon. I wondered if we were gonna leave California today, and as much as I didn't want to, I could tell we are probably gonna go back home. I really shouldn't call it home, but it's where my house is I guess.

I opened my eyes up once again, and glanced around the room. It was quiet; the only sounds I heard were Ashton's heavy breathing and soft noises he always makes when he's asleep. I sat up, rubbing the tired out of my eyes and slumping my back. I looked down to Ashton, a smile appearing on my face as I ran my fingers through his hair a couple more times. I sat there, my mind reflecting on a number of things.

First off, I couldn't help but think right back to last night. The feeling I felt in my stomach as I thought about the fact I literally had sex with Ashton only about 12 hours ago wasn't guilt or anything, it was pure triumph. It was satisfaction and complete relief to the fact that it really wasn't as scary as I thought.

Of course it wasn't. It was fucking perfect.

Within the last two days, I've smiled alot. I've cracked a lot of lame jokes, I've laughed, and I've felt sane. But, there were reasons behind my desperateness to clear my mind, which I now began to think about. I looked over, past Ashton's resting body and onto the bed side table. I stared at the dark screen of my phone for maybe 3 minutes, hoping it would light up with a text. A text from anyone would be nice, but all I really wanted was a message from my parents.

They haven't reached out to me in over a week. A fucking week, which perplexes me. I mean, I know they're probably furious with me...as I am with them...but they love me, right? Don't they care about me enough to be eager as to where I was? Like, I'm in an old Motel 6, over 100 miles from home. Yet, they probably have no clue.

I also wonder what my parents think of Ashton now. The last thing I heard either of them say was when they called him a freak, which only makes me more angry. I hate that. I absolutely hate it when people call him that. It's unfair, because it's not true.

I also thought about myself or a couple moments as well. As much as I love it here, and as short as this trip was, I think I'm ready to just go back to Nevada, and act as if nothing ever happened. As hard as that might end up being, I'm good at forgiving and forgetting. Well...maybe this time I won't do any 'forgiving' because there's no one that I can think of that deserves my forgiveness. But other than that, I don't need my family. They obviously don't need me, so why not just forget about it?