Positive?!

[01]

Mark:

I was sitting in a small room in my doctor's surgery and looked down in my hands. A nurse told me that Dr. Park would come to me as soon as he would finish another patient which gave me some time to think.

My decision was clear. I wanted... no I needed an abortion. There was no other solution. I had thought about my situation when on the way to the doctor and an abortion was the best and most senseful decision.

Firstly, I was too young to raise a child, my parents wouldn't be amused and who knew what they would say and then there was Jackson who would never support me and maybe even force me to have an abortion.

I closed my eyes when I felt tears in them. Why did I have to cry all the time? It made me feel so weak. I quickly blinked a few times and took a deep breath. Luckily, I could stop myself from crying.

Dr. Park finally entered to room and greeted me with a friendly smile. "Hello Mark. How can I help you today?" He asked and sat down on the chair behind his desk. I hesitated to tell him. Would he judge me?

I gulped and looked down. "I'm pregnant and I need an abortion." I mumbled embarrassed, feeling new tears in my eyes. "An abortion? Are you sure Mark?" Dr. Park got up and walked over to me.

"An abortion is a big step. You need to think about it." He told me and handed me a tissue. "I thought about it long enough. I need an abortion. It's the best for everyone." I said and sobbed weakly.

"You need it? Is someone forcing you?" My doctor asked carefully and I shook my head. I was only forcing myself because I knew it was better like that. There was no space for my own feelings or wishes.

"No one forces me. But I can't keep it. I would have to raise it alone. The father wouldn't want it. I'm just not ready." I explained, playing with the white tissue in my hands. It was too much for me.

I couldn't handle all the feelings and questions which came along with the pregnancy and my child. "Well, I need to give you a new appointment for the abortion but I would like to do an ultrasound first." He told me.

"Is that really necessary?" I asked and sighed quietly. I was a little worried. What if I got attached to the baby in the end? "I need to know how far the pregnancy is and I also would like to check on the baby." He told me.

I just nodded to tell him that I was ok with his plans. If he said it was necessary, I wouldn't complain as long as this would help me to get rid of Jackson Wang's baby. It was the smartest thing I could do.

"So I'll give you a new appointment in a week. We'll check on your baby and see if you really want to have an abortion. But please decide for what you really want and not what you feel forced to." Dr. Park said.

He wrote the date and the time of my new appointment on a paper and gave it to me. I quickly put it in my pocket and thanked my doctor before I went outside and realized what he had said and what it meant.

I had to wait one week until my appointment and then even longer until the day of the abortion. That meant I had to hide my morning sickness and my cravings for longer. It was luck that my parents hadn't noticed.

And I would also have to hide it in school. The party had been during the summer holidays and school would start again in three days. I really hoped no one would notice or suspect anything.

To my luck, I hadn't had any mood swings so far. I was sure that those were the hardest to hide. But honestly, I didn't know anything about pregnancies at all although I was pretty good at biology.

I slowly walked home and looked down on the asphalt. My head was surprisingly empty. I had expected it to be completely full of questions after my appointment but no, there was nothing.

The smell of Ramyeon suddenly filled my nose and I looked to my left and saw a small noodle shop. Hopefully the food would taste as amazing as it smelled because I really, really wanted noodles now.

I quickly went to the shop and ordered some noodles while I looked around and saw the boy I absolutely didn't want to see. Jackson Wang walked on the opposite side of the street.

I turned around and really hoped he didn't see me. Not that it would change something if he saw me eating noodles. But I had to avoid him as long as I could. But how should I do it when we were in school?

—

Hi people (and whoever ended up here)!!

Chapter 1 is finally done and I really hope you enjoyed it!

The next chapter will be out soon and I really hope you'll like it :)

If you have any questions, suggestions or requests, message me here or on twitter 📧

Thank you for reading ❤