Chapter 17

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Caia

I'm warm. Too warm. Annoyed I kick a little with my feet in order to remove the comforter. But there's no rustling of fabric and I feel no movement against me. Except for a slight stirring of my hair.

My eyes shoots open and I come face to face with... a neck. A very fine and well defined neck, with strong cords and a prominent Adam's apple. I carefully move back to look at my cuddle partner's face.

Liam's rugged face is relaxed in sleep, so peaceful that it's difficult to remember that he often scares me. His mouth is slightly open and it's his hot breath that stirred my hair. I look down along my body and see that we are cuddled close but loosely together. My head is resting on his bicep, his other arm is laying over my waist and my leg is over both of his.

What the hell am I doing here? I don't recognize the room. It's big with floor to ceiling windows lining one wall, but night has fallen and there's no lamp or anything so I can't see anything specific. I can see the outline on some furniture and some art on the walls but nothing else.

I close my eyes again and search my brain for the memories of today.

Okay, after Liam made me...ah, after that he went to the bathroom and I dressed. Then I ran and he yelled after me and then there was... oh god. I quickly gloss over the memory of the vicious dogs to avoid having another attack and go straight to the attack itself.

My heart goes all kinds of soft and gooey when recalling Liam's frantic worry and his gentleness towards me. I remember him telling his mother that he was talking me to her studio and I remember the sounds of the forest and the smell of strawberries. The rustling of trees hadn't exactly helped since the attack had happened in the forest but I had focused on Liam's voice and had managed to close out all other sounds so it had been all good.

Now though I was not afraid and out of my mind, so embarrassment quickly took hold of me. I know that technically I have nothing to be embarrassed about but, come on, who likes to let anyone see them like that. I briefly had a chat with another girl who also suffered serious panic attacks where she would even hurt herself sometimes, and she had told me that she often got sad and embarrassed even if it was her own parents who witnessed it. She had had a therapy dog to warn her and comfort her but for obvious reasons this was not for me and sadly nobody had quite managed to train cats like that yet.

Ever so slowly I raise my leg off Liam and carefully skim down the... couch?... that we are laying on until I can safely sit up without disturbing him. He fussed a little bit after losing me from his arms but then he adjust his position and settle. Letting loose a relieved sigh I stand up and tiptoe to the door.

The hallway outside is lit but I hesitate. I don't know where to go, when I was carried here my eyes were closed tightly. Searching my memories again I try to remember the feel of getting here, like when did Liam sway, which way did he sway and when did he walk straight. It's a bit difficult remembering those sorts of things but after a few minutes of intense concentration I'm relatively sure I know how to get to the front door.

On my way there I get lost a couple of times and have to double back but eventually I find the foyer with the split stairs. But once there I hesitate.

The memory of the dogs is still lurking in the back of my mind and I don't relish the thought of braving the Paines' park like property on my own.

"Caia?" I turn my head to see Mrs. Paine standing on the stairs in a thin dark blue robe looking down on me. "Everything okay dear?"

I nod. "Yes, I was just... it's late and I was heading home."

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