Writing On The Wall - Text Fic (Camren)

September 27 (Part 2)

"We're having our Sunday tomorrow, right?" Lauren asked as she plopped her body down onto the couch next to Camila, looking at the smaller girl with hopeful eyes as she shifted to get comfortable. 

Glancing up from her book, Camila smiled wide and gave Lauren a nod. "We are. I don't know what we're gonna do though," Camila admitted with a laugh as she set her hand on Lauren's thigh, slowly moving it upwards, "Maybe we can-"

"No," Lauren said seriously, her eyebrows raised in an effort to tell Camila she wasn't going to give into the request that easy.

Camila sighed and moved her hand off of Lauren and ran it through her hair as she looked down at her own lap, "Look Laur, we can use the-"

"Don't," Lauren warned as she grabbed Camila's hand. "That's not why we-"

"Then why?"

Taking a deep breath, Lauren stood up from the couch and plucked a joint from behind her ear, holding it up to Camila. "Come on," she said as she walked out onto the balcony and sat down in one of the chairs, Camila silently following. "Nope, not there," Lauren said as Camila went to sit down in the chair opposite her. "Sit with me?" She asked, patting her lap.

Camila smiled shyly and let out a small laugh before settling herself down on Lauren's lap, straddling Lauren's hips, her legs dangling on either side of the older girl so they were face to face. Lauren placed the joint between her lips, one hand resting on Camila's hips while she used the other to light it.

"Why won't you have sex with me?" Camila asked as she watched Lauren inhale. "You said you didn't need toys, you just needed me and-"

Lauren sighed, handing Camila the joint. "That's the biggest fight we've ever been in. It scared me a lot, Camz." Camila nodded her head and Lauren watched her bring the joint to the space between her lips, the cherry flicking red as Camila inhaled. "I just want to make sure we're okay first, I know it sounds stupid, but I don't want to sleep with you until I know the emotional shit is sorted out. I hurt you, Camz and you hurt me too. I feel like between pledge week and the Charlie thing, all we keep doing is hurting one another. I want to fix what's going on in here," Lauren said tapping Camila's heart and then her own. "And the scared thoughts up here," she told Camila, moving her hand to tap her head and then Camila's before taking the joint Camila was holding out to her.  "I just want to make sure we are solid ground and not clouding our thoughts or judgments by covering up the scars and the doubts with physical intimacy."

"You still think I'm going to leave you," Camila said sadly and Lauren just looked up at her with sad eyes. "You're trying to protect yourself from me."

"I'm trying to protect us both," Lauren whispered, exhaling a cloud of smoke with her head tilted back. "Please don't hate me for that."

Camila let out a sigh and shook her head, "I don't hate you."

"Please stop trying to make it happen, it will when the time is right. For now," Lauren said as she handed Camila the joint and then moved to wrap her arms around her, pulling Camila closer. "Just let us be us and let us get back to how we were before, I just want us to be normal again."

"We were never normal, Laur," Camila pointed out. "We met from a number on a bathroom stall."

"Do you regret it?"