A Month To Live

A Month To Live - Bradley (37)

Excruciatingly painful. I think that was the only way I could accurately describe how the last few days had been. It was so difficult not to ask her questions. Even some innocent seeming questions which I ended up asking went unanswered. She always had the same look on her face - kind of guilty, kind of sad - whenever she realised she couldn't tell me the what I wanted to hear.

It made me worry more than anything.

It was already Wednesday. One week to go. I felt like I didn't want to know. It would ruin everything we had. But maybe it wouldn't. Whatever it was surely couldn't be that bad? We could figure it out together.

I parked outside Raegan's apartment and let out a sigh of annoyance as I noticed Tommy outside smoking. Bastard. Haven't spoken to the guy for years and now he comes along and tries to disrupt pretty much the only good thing going on in my life. Typical Tommy behavior.

It took a lot of restraint to stay in the car and not go knocking on Raegan's door. I was interested to see what he might say to me. I was pretty sure he must've mentioned our old friendship to Raegan but then again she would have immediately asked me about it. She always wanted to know everything, she even admitted that herself.

I heard the closing of a door and glanced back out. Raegan was locking up and I saw her let out a yawn. Not sure if she ever really slept when she was on her own. I usually tried to persuade her to sleep at mine, or well give her no choice in the matter. She seemed to sleep well at our house. With me. She said she never worried about Tommy living next to her or not living back with her parents but... I don't know. I don't think she liked being alone really. The thought of her lying awake unable to sleep and thinking about... whatever it was made me feel sad.

Tommy said something to her then and she rolled her eyes with an amused smile. I tightened my fingers around my steering wheel. I wasn't jealous exactly. Just... I don't know how to explain it. I wanted her to come over here so I could make her smile like that, not him.

'Hey,' Raegan said, making me jump in surprise. I hadn't even heard her open the door. She laughed at my ridiculous response. 'Someone's on edge this morning!'

'Had a large cup of coffee,' I said in explanation as I turned to watch her. Not a lie. I'd spent a lot of the night laying awake so I needed something to perk me up earlier.

She dropped her bag on the floor and quickly fastened her seatbelt before turning her green eyed gaze upon me. She didn't look too tired. Her eyes seemed brighter than usual actually.

'I never have time for breakfast,' she smiled.

'That's because you give yourself roughly seven minutes to get ready,' I pointed out. And I still had no idea how she managed look so good every morning.

'So what're we doing later?' she asked, as I quickly forced myself to look away from her and pulled out of the parking space.

I groaned. I should have predicted she'd ask. But she'd been good the past couple of days.

'You know I can't tell you,' I said, scowling at her. She frowned in response. More of a pout really.

'You're so mean,' she complained, pinching my arm and making me grin at her annoyance. 'Did you get much sleep last night?' she asked after a pause.

I caught her looking over at me closely. She had a small wrinkle between her eyebrows which she got whenever she was worried about something. It was cute. Whenever she had that, I just wanted to smooth it out and swap it for a kiss. I wondered why it had taken me so long to read her emotions. I found it incredibly easy now. I guess I just knew her well. And put in a lot of effort.