to all the glowing eyes ✎ joshler

october 4

will;

i am so happy!!

well, to some extent i am.

i finally got the boy's name!! i walked past him and his friends during lunch and i heard all the other guys call him          .

          , that's a pretty name.

a beautiful name.

i like it.

i do have to admit, i started to fantasize about many things. mostly pure, cute things.

i think i'm falling for him.

yes. i am. i like him a lot. i really do.

i like         .

t.r.j.

„"„

"what?! that's it? are you serious?" josh yells at the journal in front of him on the desk. he groans in frustration and closes it out of rage.

"i can't even see the name. this is stupid."

he rubs his tired eyes trying to get the sleepiness out of him. he stayed up all night reading about depression, depersonalization, anxiety, adhd, bipolar disorder and many more things that he saw in the articles he found. he wasn't aware of how many things a person could be suffering from.

despite the anger he feels outside, he feels something completely different inside. he feels warm and nice and soft. mostly soft. reading entries like this one makes him appreciate the little things in life and want to kiss someone but not in the act of wanting sex afterwards, he wants to kiss someone to prove his love for that person.

am i falling for him?

this question bugs his mind. he has become attached to the boy's life, but that's as far as he had gone. this is different. he wants to be with the boy, he wants to take care of him and make his problems go away. he wants to hold him and be there for him whenever he feels sad. he wants to help him. he wants to be the boys...boyfriend.

"i need to find you."

{🌹💌🌹}

this plot is so bad ughhhh. josh's character is evolving tho..sort of

it's now 2 am (yes i wrote this and the last chapter on the same night) and i'm really hungry. i only had a cereal bar thingy for dinner. send food plz

-alaska