Kiss Me Dangerous

19| Filthy and Frustrated

Lola

Freddie moved slowly even as I continued to fall apart, my heart beating with ferocious purpose as I peeked over his shoulder and watched James slam the door behind him—but even as he left, it didn't seem to make much of a difference.

It was like trying to douse a wildfire without enough water, the two of us still struggling to breathe under the heavy heat of the fully formed flame that barely wavered between us, my natural ability to bring oxygen to my lungs obstructed by the fierce need for release that tightened at the base of my stomach and begged for his touch.

Bad things always happened whenever I found myself alone with him, and yet here I was getting myself stuck in the same stupid situation, a magnetic force pulling us towards something much more dangerous than either of us had the ability to understand.

Everything that I had done in this room since I had walked into it had been so very wrong, but I could barely think past the neediness that sprouted in his presence and the rage that he built up inside of me as he challenged me to do exactly as he wanted.

I didn't want to allow him to believe that he owned me, but at the same time it was the only truth I knew.

The critical part of my brain had shut down entirely as I searched for his approval through his touches and his commands, his whispered sins shivering down my spine as I did everything he asked me to do under the guise of my stubbornness. It was a psychological effect, wanting him when it no longer seemed he was as interested—wanting him when I knew this could all burst into flames.

Freddie knew how to get me exactly where he wanted me, and I had fallen right into his trap.

I could still feel the weight of his touch all over my body, his hands holding me in place like a fucking ornament as he let his brother use his fingers to play with me. He had been so goal-oriented then, his hands firm and consistent—touching me all over, his fingers pinching my skin where his brother couldn't touch, his lips against my throat as he pressed kisses against my pulse point in the most possessive of ways.

His intentions were clear to me now that I knew his intent was only to take away everything he gave, making me pay for my words in the meanest of ways.

I had almost fallen apart under James's fingertips.

I had been so close—so fricking close until he had snatched his hand away from me and forced him to leave. Now I was here, burning under the vicious tension, unsatisfied to the core and scared he would leave me again with nothing to correct the motion he had set in place.

He let out a heavy breath as he pulled away from me, his softened hands curling into fists as he moved to the middle of the room and left me grappling with the wall behind me once again. My own hands shook as I tried to find my strength, leaning against the hardened structure in a bid to keep me upright, but my thighs were trembling and I knew it would be only a matter of time before I fell to the floor in a heap of shame.

I thought I had more control over myself, but with each encounter with him, he only seemed to prove me otherwise.

"Freddie, I—"

"Say my name in that whiny little voice one more fucking time, go on—I dare you."

His sharpened gaze pinned me in my place as I swallowed down the words on the tip of my tongue. He was angry at me, by his own fault—but the feeling still crushed against my windpipe as more tears welled up in my eyes.

He huffed out a breath as he took account of the fragments he had left me in, running an agitated hand through his hair and knowing exactly the words I wanted to say—they were written all over me, in every breath and in every heartbeat. Freddie had started this game and in my stubbornness I couldn't accept that I would always lose against him, even still, I wanted him closer and I wanted to beg him to finish what he had started even though he should have been the one to fix the problem he had caused in the first place.